Death and Dreams
As I said, a friend of mine had a heart-attack. She was lucky to stay alive. Both she and her husband smoked. And now both of them survived heart-attacks. They didn't know how lucky they were.
I am now a committed vegetarian because of them. I went to a gym this morning because of them. I trying to keep my mouth shut because of them.
I am thinking I am getting wiser, but I am not so sure. I think less of most humans that I know with each passing day. I definitely think I am superior to them in so many aspects. Anyway, last night I saw Laura. I was very surprised. I had not seen her for over ten years. I thought I would never ever see her again, even in my dreams. She didn't look too bad. She lived in a four-story house and seemed to be very proud of that fact, based on her behavior. Interestingly enough, she greeted me warmly and asked about my life since we last saw each other. The encounter was very interesting, at least to me, because this was the very first time I was not filled with self-pity and sorrow and pain when I saw her, not even when I woke up. Did that mean I finally outgrew the pain and the immaturity? Maybe so, but I do know if I ever meet her in real life, instead in dreams, I would just ignore her. Love dies when respect disappears. Harriette had told me a few weeks before she died of a heart-attack that she believed that finally I got smart with women. Her words were, "Roberto, baby, I seriously doubt that there is any bitch that really loves you as I do. Be careful, darling. Don't be stupid again as you were with Laura and other bitches."
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