Stupid and insensitive assholes wonder why at this late period of my life, I am still hung up on the themes of existentialism: alienation, authencity, freedom, feelings of nausea when interacting with people, etc...The answer is that maybe I am more alive and more honest than them. Unlike them, I am unwilling to live a life of a lie. Unlike them, I insist that my life must have meaning other than believing in a bullshit called God, going through life with a mere motion without zest nor conviction, and just living for myself only. Maybe I always compare myself with others who are better than me in terms of critical thinking and altruism and I want to emulate them. So, maybe I regard myself far better than the assholes and monkeys who just talk and pontificate and don't do a damn thing to help their country of birth.
One more thing before I forget: fairness. I absolutely adhere to the principle of fairness and justice. So when I see that somebody attacks me unfairly, using wild assumptions and unsubstantiated accusations, I absolutely write that person off my frame of reference. I mean to say, to me that person does not exist anymore. He becomes lower than dirt; he becomes a nonentity. At least dirt registers in my consciousness. The unfair asshole is just so despicable to me that he simply vanishes from this world. What lingers in my mind is the astonishment to see how low a person can degenerate. Now I fully understand the real meanings of disgust and abhorence. Maybe that is what Sartre means by "nausea".
As indicated in my remark to the BW, there is a reason and purpose in everything I wrote. I didn't just sit down and blurt words willy-nilly
(cont.)
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