The French have a saying that the writing style of a man tells us what the man is. I myself am fond of saying that most humans are plagued by animalistic tendencies. What we condemn in others is what we fear in us the most. Yes, occasionally my own behavior is quite animalistic and I am not proud of myself when that happens. But what sets me apart from the animals that I despise and what my saving grace is that I am respectful of facts and truths and logic. I may have some blind spots but if somebody points them out to me, I don't automatically go into denial as all the other animals do. I have a thirst for self-improvement and knowledge.
A motherfucking asshole once proudly translated two lines of Kim Vân Kiều:
"Vầng trăng ai chẻ làm đôi
Nửa soi gối chiếc, nửa soi dặm đường"
into some shitty, broken, kindergarten English. When I saw that kind of English proudly displayed on the Net, I couldn't help myself. So I duly criticized the poor ignoramus who should have kept his "translation" to himself. Of course, my "critique" incurred his enmity. The asshole thought he had a golden chance at comeuppance at me when my translation of Nguyen Sa's "Áo Lụa Hà Đông" was posted in Viet Thuc website. He wrote a nasty, feces-filled, vulgar commentary which disgusted the sensibilities of a gentleman so much that he wrote a rebuttal in which he questioned the upbringing of the asshole. At the urging of my wife, I took the high road and ignored the ignorant, untalented, envious, little asshole. I figured the gentleman did a good job already of calling attention to the asshole's act of self-debasement.
Let me tell you something, this world is peopled a lot by creatures like the asshole. They have human appearances, but their souls are of beasts through and through. Don't cry for them if one day I burn them at the stakes. Some of them can write, though. Take one vain, smug-looking dude who writes for a national paper. He could string words together, but they were so full of nonsense and superstitions. A smart brainwashed dude is still stupid at the end of the day if the dude believes in stupid, nonsensical things.
The day has been strange, to say the least. A lot of shitty things passed through my mind: the mistakes I made, the animals I ran into, and the sins I committed and my regrets and remorses and the silent prayers I make for forgiveness during my meditation sessions ("I ask for your forgiveness. I sinned because I was weak-minded and stupid. Now I am stronger and wiser. But please, don't ever infuriate me again, because if you do, I may not be able to control myself and may just fucking kill you, okay?")
All humans find ways to be proud of something they have or did so they can lift their heads high and live, even though it is usually just plainly mundane and unworthy. Take the case of a bitch who is short, fat, plain-looking, unintelligent, poorly read, penurious, and prone to anger---in short, a thoroughly mediocre piece of trash, yet the bitch thinks she is a lady. What the fuck! Oh, I forgot something. The bitch has prayed to her God for my destruction and she told me so! What a joke! I am an atheist and have no fear of a nonsense called God. Only stupid creatures like her would use "God" in personal wishes. Fuck, I am a philosopher and have thought of metaphysical matters like God and meanings of existence all my life.
Also, most humans fear facts and truths. The more stupid and unaccomplished they are, the more fearful they are. Two bitches once rhetorically asked me to prove to them that I was superior to them as if they didn't know that fact already. That proved to me they had their heads in their assess for so long that they refused to see realities for what they were. What we believe to be true or false does not make it to be so if it runs counter to evidence and logic. One of the bitches sarcastically told me to not flatter myself as if I didn't know what self-flattery was. Let me tell you something, this world is full of animals like these two bitches who are the ones who flatter themselves to be smarter and more informed than they actually are, and yet they accuse others of being so. I'm telling you, we hate in others what we hare in ourselves.
I have reasons to conclude that most humans are scum and filthy, lazy animals who refuse to improve their minds. Fuck, I worked my ass off in learning languages, in reading serious books, and in thinking about serious matters. I write English better than the two bitches; I know more languages than they do; I have much vaster book knowledge than they do; I can write poetry and short stories while they cannot even express themselves coherently; I am better looking they are; and I have more advanced formal education than they do. Last but not least, I find ways to make money at my advanced age while one of them is living on charity and the other is on pension. And they asked me to prove to them that I was superior to them? They conveniently forgot that they both regarded me as their teacher when I was their "friend". How fucking stupid and asinine these two bitches were! But if they had not asked me that stupid rhetorical question about superiority, I would not have known the depths of their stupidities and depravities. Now I know why some humans remain stupid and ignorant and cowardly in the first place. They are dumb and have no courage to confront realities. Confronting realities would force them to change their thinking and behavior and they are too stupid and lazy to do so.
Back to philosophy. Okay, let me tell you my views on human existence:
1. We are all accidents and creatures by chance encounters of eggs and sperms.
2. We are consciousness that have physical manifestations for a short while.
3. We are the energy that has the ability to replicate itself.
4. We are all part of the broader, vaster scheme of things which is called the universe.
5. And of course, we are all temporary in space and time. Our existence is brief and finite. To be smug about ourselves and to hunger for power and fame is to be stupid to the extreme.
Now, let me "say" something about art and literature: my words are all fairy tales and frustrating screams at "realities". Art is useful when it serves no "utilitarian" purposes other than to convey the artist's feelings. All artists tell at once the truths and lies. Life is a fiction and Art is the means to unmask that fiction.
I once told a bitch that I was a scoundrel and the poor bitch took my words literally. She should have known that I was an artist and I was conveying an artistic, poetic truth, not a literal truth. She was too stupid to know that no man would declare, unprompted, that he was a scoundrel,
Some motherfuckers take pride of being "adults" while laughing at my "childishness". Let me ask you a rhetorical question: if you are really mature, would you laugh at and tell somebody straight to his face that he is childish and immature or would you rather be silent and ignore the dude? To show that we are "superior" to others is to suffer from disguised inferiority complex. Truly superior individuals are usually silent and taciturn. They only show their superiority when they have to and only sparingly and modestly.
You readers, if there are indeed any, no doubt are wondering why the fuck I am telling everything about me and what I think. Am I a confession nut? Somebody (Omar, my best friend) laughed at this confession propensity of mine. He regularly advised me, "Roberto, by all means tell the truth, but carefully and incrementally and only to a select few. Be mindful of your audience. You never how they would use what you told them against you. Humans are fucked-up animals. They are not like dogs. They don't know the concept of loyalty. You must behave like a highly flammable substance. Once it's burned up, it leaves nothing behind. I have noticed that you have been burned more than once by the same animals. You must learn from experience. Only open your mouth when you have no choice. And when you do, don't speak the truth at all times. Protect yourself. Lie a little.
You know what your tragedy is? You let loneliness overwhelm you. You love to talk, to unburden yourself. I know you need an audience. But fuck that, Roberto. Get a dog, instead. Cultivate a habit of talking to yourself and to complete strangers, not to those who know you and can hurt you. You'd better believe that sometimes this world is very dark and you must have a dark vision of it if you wish to survive. You're so damn trusting and confessional. You're so much a child. No wonder people tell you that you're childish, even the assholes who are younger than you. Of course, those assholes are stupid themselves for talking to you like that, but you must thank them, not to their faces, but silently. They're the walking social barometers of you. You must learn to not be like them, however. I know you're getting better. You're getting taciturn and much less pontifical. Listen to your mother. If you cannot say anything nice to a person you're talking to, just bite your tongue and find a way to say goodbye and get away from the asshole. Just don't say anything stupid so you'll regret later. Don't be so eager to act smart or be sarcastic. Only truly stupid assholes and scumbags would do that. You're a goddamn poet, for Christ's sake. You know words. You know how to use language. Just think about how many assholes for whom you're nursing a grudge just because they said something stupid to you just only one time. Yes, humans crave for respect from their fellow men. A sign of disrespect can be a valid reason for death. You know that, right? I know you're not afraid of Death, but ask yourself, do you really want to kill or be killed by assholes? There are nobler ways to die, Roberto. Choose your death wisely. It all starts with keeping your mouth shut. Okay? I'm lecturing and sermonizing because I care about you, because I love you as a real brother, otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck.
Good, today I saw you kept your mouth shut when smart-alecky dudes pontificated about infinity. That was a real sign of improvement on your part. Fuck, I knew you were very anxious to say that humans fall into a trap of thinking in terms of dualism: God and Devil, Good and Evil, finiteness and infinity, the creator and the created, and so on. But Reality is more than dualism or even monism. It comprises of dualism, monism, and more. The operative word in the preceding sentence is "more". Reality is more than human constructs of God and Devil, Good and Evil, finiteness and infinity, etc... The human constructs are changeable, revisable, and only approximations of Reality, but not the Realty itself. Those who claim what they say are unassailable truths are arrogant fools. They cannot tell you why the Big Bang occurred and where it came from. The universe as humans know it is finite in space and time and undergoing changes. There might be a circularity in the universe, but nobody, as far as I know, even Stephen Hawking himself, has said and proved with utmost clarity and conviction about the origin of the universe. He only said the Big Bang occurred and the universe was born. He couldn't say anything about "why" the Big Bang occurred. He only said about the "how". The Big Bang was just there. It just happened and then there have been changes, just like a figment of it, the human species are undergoing changes. We are finite in space and time, just like the universe from which we came from.
(To be continued)
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