Pride and Obsession

Pride and Obsession

I am touching on this type of topics because I am thinking out loud about them and trying to get to the bottom of them. What can't be articulated means it is not well understood. We must speak before we become silent.

A woman was complaining that my words wounded her when I had simply spoken of facts and even truths. What I said was verifiable while she tried to dance away from realities as she has been doing all her life, even now, despite her claims she is gaining insights and facing realities thanks to her studying Buddhism and practicing meditation. Simply put, her pride was misplaced and too fragile for her own good. Instead of adopting a holy and excuse-laden escapism, she could have simply said that she had made a mistake because of false pride and lack of confidence. 

Pride is inferior to facts and truths. If I am wrong and somebody points out to me the errors of my ways (of thinking and behaving), I would be thankful of that person's kindness. One thing about me that few humans are smart enough to recognize is that I am always ready and willing to learn from my mistakes and from the teachings and examples from people who are smarter/kinder than me. My mindset is that of a student. I was lazy in high school. Now I am playing catch up. 

I pointed out to her that her egocentrism was a turn-off to me. Egocentrism is the twin brother of selfishness. An egocentric and selfish person cannot really understand love. Love is always about the beloved, not the loving agent. Love is not about excuses and high-sounding pride. Love is about humility and admission that one has surrendered to the imperatives of caring and giving, even to the point of going against self-interest. Witness the love of parents for their children. Love means you are first and I am second. I am in this world to take care of you and nurture you without bothering to ask the same in return. Unless you possess something akin to that sentiment, you don't know a damned thing about love, even though you may talk a good game about it. Anybody can talk. Look at the assholes and idiots around you. They open their mouths and pontificate about knowledge and respect and dignity and honor, but their deeds reveal that they are stupid and ignorant assholes and idiots all the same. They shamelessly make up stories and lies about my mental illness, without a shred of evidence. I hate and despise them for that dastardly deed. To this day, they have not had the decency to offer an apology for their scurrilous slander. 

The deed, rather the speech, defines the person. Just like a former President of South Vietnam,  Nguyễn Văn Thiệu, famously said, "Don't believe in what the communists say; look at what they have done and judge for yourself." Remember, Human is an animal that actively enjoys deception and unwittingly is into self-deception. 

Maybe I am suffering from the obsession of mental injury committed by the assholes and idiots. Obsession is unhealthy, unless it is about survival and perhaps honor. Only fools would be obsessed about pride, power (sic! The more stupid and untalented a person is, the more he lusts after power in order to compensate for unresolved feelings of inferiority complex. Despite a member's urgent demand that the THREE moderators of a certain Internet Forum step down and that only one dude would remain and function as an IT guy, none of the three "moderators" is forsaking the empty, high-sounding  title "moderator" even though they all complain they are holding a thankless job. Are they emotionally masochistic or just simply into denial that they love power over their peers?), fame, or even sex. We must learn to control the thought and not let the thought control and consume us. 

A truly mad person is the one who cannot control what he thinks, no matter how unwholesome they are. Murder, suicide, and rape are acts of obsession. 

Wissai
June 24, 2013.