Today you wonder why you are so afflicted by nostalgia, the kind that is unhealthy, demeaning, and sapping of your self-confidence. You question your own penchant of dwelling on failures and sorrows, instead of triumphs and joys. The past was long gone. Everybody made mistakes.. You turned out to be actually more honorable and caring and responsible than she was, so why is this business of languishing in memories and nostalgia?
What you should do is to meditate on private sins and omissions that nobody knows you have committed. Then you confront yourself and force yourself to grow up and be more dignified in thoughts. Once your thoughts are filled with a sense of nobility and self-respect, your actions will follow. Don't compare yourself with scumbags and assholes; compare yourself with heroes and men of noble character. Work on yourself . Be dignified in the privacy of your home as well as outside of it.
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