Omar, my friend, I don't know if you know that Ernest Hemingway was fond of telling his literary friends that as writers, they must write only one true sentence, the truest sentence that they knew. My truest sentence is "I have no fear to learn who I am and I don't really give a fuck what others think of me since I already know most of them don't really understand me anyway." Could I tell you something about a friend of mine? His name is Alberto Sanchez, a native Tejano whose roots stretched back to the conquistadores' times. His family has lived in South Texas for over 400 years. He is no descendant of any Mexican wetbacks. Anyway, he is smart and sensitive but shy and introspective. Only booze could loosen him up. He has a strange, weird, unhealthy relationship with his father. They rarely talk to each other. One day while we were out eating chicken wings and drinking beer, his cell phone which was lying on the table rang. He didn't pick it up after seeing who it was. I saw the word "Dad" on the screen. After being asked by me why he didn't pick up the phone, he replied that if the call was important, his father would call back or leave a voicemail. Since Alberto was a dear friend of mine, I boldly pressed on with an observation that the whole thing sounded like there was a long-standing tension between him and his father. Alberto then lowered his head and mumbled that his father was not paying him much attention when he was growing up and that he was largely raised by his paternal grandparents. It was then I blurted out that my father beat me savagely occasionally, out of ignorance and violent outbursts, when I was a kid Despite all that, I loved him and was very upset when he died of cancer at the age of 58, leaving me and my siblings in a financially precarious situation. Because of the way I was punished by my father, I was not physically abusive to my son, an only child. Instead I talked to my son, explaining to him why he needed to shape up his behavior. Still, I internalized the violent behavior of my father and now understand its dynamics. My father was a good man, but not very good at communication and suffered much from social frustrations. He was honest but not wily. I was his escape route for his frustrations. He was weak for choosing me as the escape route. He could have had a better understanding of fairness and justice. Anyway, in about three hours I'm going to meet again a beautiful, younger, and charming lady.
Lost In Love by Air Supply
I realize the best part of love is the thinnest slice
And it don't count for much
but I'm not letting go
I believe there's still much to believe in
So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a star and I'll show you a plan
I figured it out
What I needed was someone to show me
You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on
[Chorus:]
Lost In Love and I don't know much
Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch?
But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted
So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a star and I'll show you a plan
I figured it out
What I needed was someone to show me
You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on
[Chorus]
You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on
[Chorus]
Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Yes, things and people are not what and who they seem to be. Every life experience makes me wiser. Nature is filled with indifference towards Man, but he thinks otherwise. Humans are filled with deception and self-deception, but most think they are kind and nice. Yes, it's nice to hold a thought that we are loved and cared for, but realities are usually such that they often bring tears to the gullible.
(To be continued)
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