Obama and Tiger and the question of Identity

Obama and Tiger are two famous half-black Americans. They are known by just one name. One is by the last name; the other by the first. They will surely go down in history books for their achievements. Let's face it and be honest with ourselves: A great majority of humans harbor a deep-seated desire to be remembered long after they are gone and consumed by bugs and bacteria. So, Obama and Tiger made it. But given a choice, whom would you rather be?

Obama dabbled in drugs (he's still hooked on nicotine) and basketball, and came from a broken family. His mother was an anthropologist who had a knack to find exotic men irresistible. She married a black while being in college, and then an Indonesian. Obama's father was cold and irresponsible in bringing up the children he sired with various women. Obama predictably wrestled with his racial identity, being biracial, and he came down on the black side. He married an older, abrasive black woman. He kept in touch with his black relatives in Kenya. He apparently has not had any affairs with lily white women. And of course, he became a President of the arguably greatest nation on earth. He is not perfect. He is known to be ruthless (he cut off his friends when they proved to be a liability), cruel (made jokes at his subordinates' expense) and a liar (the episode about his pastor when he claimed that during almost 20 years sitting in the pews, he had not heard of any racist rants). Many Republicans are now raving and ranting that Obama is a liar. Please show me one politician who is not.

Tiger, a product of a black military man and a Thai woman, seemed to have a different family experiences and outlook than Obama. Doted and trained by his father at an early age, Tiger became one of the greatest golfers in the world. He became very rich and famous. Despite intensely loved by his black father, Tiger apparently has been attracted only to lily white women, not black, not Asian (his mother's racial background). Tiger had affairs with them. His marriage to the blond Swedish woman is on the rocks, caused by his infidelity. I always wonder about black and Asian men being attracted to white women and speculate if there is some trace of inferiority complex and the resulting overcompensation dynamic in play here. Don't get me wrong. Prior to my marriage, I had dated many whites (one was 6' 1") and I still have many white female friends, but dating is one thing, marrying is another matter. Marriage is a serious commitment, especially to a person with different racial background. I am sure there were many attractive black and Asian women who had made it known to Tiger that they were available, but Tiger apparently couldn't find one to his liking. He evidently had a thing about white women. In my biased opinion, a non-white man who is not sexually attracted enough to a woman of his race while finding lily white women irresistible must be plagued by some feelings of inferiority complex. Of course, I understand love strikes at unexpected moments and there are exceptions, but consistently having affairs only with white women, as in the case of Tiger here, clearly shows his sexual predilection for whites. A normal person is comfortable with his own skin and tends to choose first and foremost women of his racial background simply he grew up in the same milieu and had more exposure. Anyway, Tiger's reputation is in tatters and he comes across as a very common person except for his golf talents. I would not bother to spill my guts out and speculate on Tiger's emotional makeup if he were an equal opportunity philanderer. Marrying a white woman is nothing to be proud of. The marriage has to be based on solid love. The white woman has to be the true object of love and desire, and not a trophy for a non-white man to come to terms with his feelings of inadequacy. In my salad days, I had white women asking me to marry them, but I said no, not because they were not accomplished (one was a dermatologist) but because I always find Vietnamese women irresistible, especially those who went to French-speaking lycées.