I appear stupid and over-talkative. I act as if I am a stingy person and I tell everybody that I am broke and poor, lost and confused, and don't know what to do with myself, except reading books. I don't really know why I love doing all that shit while trying to find out about people. I know this guy who keeps telling me that I need to respect myself and be more mindful of my words. Respect. Respect. Respect. He keeps telling me that. Like a mantra. Respect. Respect. Respect. And the guy always dresses and talks nice. You see, he wants people to respect him. And he gets what he wants, but not from me. I don't respect him because I have watched him like a hawk and I have committed to memory everything he says. The guy is a hypocrite and a liar.
Then Harritette told me the same thing. I must dress nicer, must go to the barber more often, must not talk so openly about myself. Lie a little, say what people want to hear, not what I want to say. Don't get angry; if I do, don't show it, keep it inside. And if I catch somebody lying, don't say so straight to his face. Pretend you are too stupid and naive to know any better. Go along to get along. All about the art of deception and appearing respectable and in control of the situation at all times. She said, Roberto honey, you must understand everybody wants to be respected. You need to show them that, and not the air of indifference and mild contempt you show them. You've got to be smart and flexible. With me, you can be whatever the fuck you want to be. I don't care because I know you and understand you and love you. People out there, they are into superficialities. The moment you show them disrespect, they go crazy because deep down they don't respect themselves so they need every little respect they get from everybody they interact with. Honey, you understand that , don't you? Why don't you say something instead of keeping nodding your head and having that stupid smile on your face. Come here, come to Mama.
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