An Uncommon Interview
IntroductionA magazine reporter who called herself Leslie Lovely contacted me out of the blue, saying that I have generated a lot of traffic on Facebook and my blog due to the controversial, funny, thought-provocative, anger-arousing posts I put up there almost on a daily basis. Her boss wanted her to do an interview with me and so she wondered if I would agree to talk to her.
I was interviewed three times before: once by a radio station in New Zealand, once by a TV station in Houston, and once by some stupid guy working for a French radio news outlet. And each time it was a disaster. I came across inarticulate and stupid and ignorant. So this time, with Leslie, I was prepared. I asked her what she wanted to talk about. I demanded the right to edit the transcript. And I wanted the agreement in writing. And I wanted to tape the interview to verify the veracity of my answers. I didn't want any bitch reporter put words in my mouth. Since she came to me, she finally agreed to my terms, albeit reluctantly.
-Gosh, you have a gorgeous view up here. We can see all over the city, and far to the mountains. Let's get down to business. You think you are smart, don't you? At least that's the impression the readers have of you.
-I'm cerebral but I'm dumb and stupid in practical living. I can think. I have some moments of awareness and self-awareness.
-Why and how you write every freaking day, like a man possessed, like a dying man who wants to leave a written testimony behind?
- I wake up every morning, feeling angry and dissatisfied with myself and the world. I want to kill somebody, but of course I cannot do that. I take it back. Yes, I can, but the consequences are so heavy, so expensive, so drastic, so final. So I write instead. I engage in sublimation, you understand? I split skulls with my words. I stab hearts with my tenderness. A man must have a reason to get up in the morning instead of lying in bed and die. I find anger fuels me, activates me, makes me do things I wouldn't do otherwise. I read more, study more, exercise more, and am determined to hang onto my money this time. The last time I had it, I just squandered it. Then I found out, as I should, that people judged me on the basis of how much money I had in the bank and treated me accordingly.
-Looks like you do all right for yourself. A nice high-rise condo you have, tastefully decorated. You wrote in your blog that you also own a black Lexus.
-I am getting by. I don't have as much money as I used to, but I am getting there.
-Let's change the subject. All this talk about money nauseates me. Are you really popular with women as you've been incessantly bragging about that? Isn't there an undercurrent of inferiority complex here?
-Well, I'm not lying. Having known 24 women in the Biblical sense is no big deal. Look at me closely, won't you? Listen to my words. If you were a normal woman, you would like me, too. I simply possess looks and charms and what you call animal magnetism. I give off strong vibrations. Women pick up on the vibrations. Let me tell you something. The number could easily go to 30 and higher. But I was faithful to Harriette. After I met Harriette, there was a whole bunch of women strongly interested in me. I didn't want to lose Harriette, so I was cold to the overtures. Besides, I am tired now, and more difficult and selective. Common women bore me and turn me off, no matter how much they are turned on by me. I've learned my lessons. Actually I was a lazy man. I did not go out of my way to look for women. I just made myself available to them. I was receptive to their overtures. But you should know there was a time I actively chased after women and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I was rejected left and right. But I learned from my experiences. I didn't let failures undermine who I thought I was. Then, I hit on a formula of success. I haven't looked back since.
-Could you tell us what the formula is?
-No, I did tell my son. I hope he's using it.
-Did any of the women really love you?
-Four. Two died. One is married. She lives in Chicago. I think of her now and then and wonder how she's doing.
-Why didn't the relationships last?
-I was bored with them. They had nothing to offer me intellectually or emotionally. They only fulfilled a social need. Harriette was no intellectual, but she sure had a heart. She satisfied me emotionally plus you what.
-I think I know what you meant, but let's not go there. This is a family publication.
-Is that so?
-Can we talk about Laura? Who is she? She appeared a lot in your earlier writings, but not lately. What happened?
-She was my incubus for a long time. Thirty-three long years. I finally got rid of her in 2005. She has not got into my dreams since. There was a time, especially during the third and final year of the relationship, I thought the world of her. I could have died for her. I loved her that much. I thought she was a better human being than I was. I also thought she loved me. But I was wrong on both counts. She was simply more intelligent than I was and came from a family that had some more money than mine did. That was all. If I ran into her today, I wouldn't even look at her. To me, she was already dead. Dead in my heart. Indifference is a sign of death of love. In a way, she and Anita shaped me into who I am today.
-Who is Anita? Anita Ekberg?
-Don't be silly. Anita Pasado, that's who. A ghost in the past. Because of her, I've tried to improve my mind and body. A long, sad story. I can either talk about her for days or I just clam up. I prefer to not talk about her now.
-Do you like sex?
-I thought you told me you worked for a family publication.
-Yes, but you still can talk about sex in a sanitized, dignified, not salacious fashion, can't you? A man's sexuality says a lot about himself, psychologically speaking. I was sent over here to interview you because you are a very interesting man. You have been arousing, no pun intended, a lot of interest in you. Our readers want to know everything about you. So would you answer the question, please. Do you like sex?
-What kind of question is that? Of course I like it, but not as much as my women would like me to do. I find it boring after a while, not counting dirty and inconvenient and tiring. Sex is only beautiful if there is love involved. And I realized that the women didn't really love me. They loved themselves. They used me as a tool to love themselves. So I guess that was one of the reasons why the relationships didn't last. Harriette did love me, however. With the totality of her heart. May she rest in peace. I miss her terribly. Why did she have to die before I do?
-Do you lie?
-Another interesting question. Of course, I do, only when I have to (chuckling). I don't make a career out of it as some, scratch that, as most people do. I am generally a forthright, honest person. I want people to accept me and love me on the basis of who I really am, not who I pretend to be. In my writings, however, I've taken a lot of poetic license. I let my imagination and wishful thinking run wild.
-It seems to us you are awfully proud of your writings though you have not gathered them in book form and publish them. Why not?
-Because I am a coward who has no faith and confidence in his abilities. Most of what I have written are trash. Only a few poems of mine may endure.
-You are tackling Wittgenstein, a very tough row to hoe. Why?
-I approach philosophy in an amateur, dilettante sort of way. I pick up a bit of wisdom here and there so I can feel good about myself. Wittgenstein and Nietzsche are the only two philosophers I am trying to digest. I have tried to understand Wittgenstein for a long time, but made no serious efforts until now. Wittgenstein talked about the death of philosophy as traditionally conceived. He talked about language. The two areas interest me,
-You come across as angry, immature, old man. Why?
-I don't know. That's who I am, I guess (chuckling). I have ego. I have pride. I cannot stand people who are ignorant and stupid but think they are well-informed and smart. I just cannot stand them. Those people have no intellectual courage. They are poseurs and liars and cheaters. I am not.
-Does anybody love you right now, given that Harriette is dead and buried and gone for over a year now?
-Yes, besides my wife, there is at least one, but she does not really understand me, so there are problems. There's another one that's piqued my interest, but there are vastly complicating factors involved so I ruled that one out, too. And then there's another woman living far away who's taken a keen interest in me, but she appears to be a very bad cheapskate, much worse than me, so that won't fly. I have enough money to last me until I die, but I won't share it with cheapskate women. I would share it with fair-minded women, though.
-Are you a happy man?
-Much better than I used to. I don't think of suicide and homicide much anymore.
-Why is there obsession with violence?
-Because I am a violent guy. That's how my brain is constituted. But I am also capable of gentleness and compassion and love. The woman in Florida named Sassy knows that. I am trying to write violence away. It's working, albeit slowly.
-Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Wissai. I am sure, no, I hope that the readers will find this interview interesting.
-Listen, are you free next week? Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
-I am sorry. I can't. I am a lesbian.
-I thought so (chuckling) but I wanted to make sure. Please allow me to ride the elevator with you down to the street. May I do that? It's been splendid talking with you.
Wissai
November 14, 2013
-Well, I'm not lying. Having known 24 women in the Biblical sense is no big deal. Look at me closely, won't you? Listen to my words. If you were a normal woman, you would like me, too. I simply possess looks and charms and what you call animal magnetism. I give off strong vibrations. Women pick up on the vibrations. Let me tell you something. The number could easily go to 30 and higher. But I was faithful to Harriette. After I met Harriette, there was a whole bunch of women strongly interested in me. I didn't want to lose Harriette, so I was cold to the overtures. Besides, I am tired now, and more difficult and selective. Common women bore me and turn me off, no matter how much they are turned on by me. I've learned my lessons. Actually I was a lazy man. I did not go out of my way to look for women. I just made myself available to them. I was receptive to their overtures. But you should know there was a time I actively chased after women and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I was rejected left and right. But I learned from my experiences. I didn't let failures undermine who I thought I was. Then, I hit on a formula of success. I haven't looked back since.
-Could you tell us what the formula is?
-No, I did tell my son. I hope he's using it.
-Did any of the women really love you?
-Four. Two died. One is married. She lives in Chicago. I think of her now and then and wonder how she's doing.
-Why didn't the relationships last?
-I was bored with them. They had nothing to offer me intellectually or emotionally. They only fulfilled a social need. Harriette was no intellectual, but she sure had a heart. She satisfied me emotionally plus you what.
-I think I know what you meant, but let's not go there. This is a family publication.
-Is that so?
-Can we talk about Laura? Who is she? She appeared a lot in your earlier writings, but not lately. What happened?
-She was my incubus for a long time. Thirty-three long years. I finally got rid of her in 2005. She has not got into my dreams since. There was a time, especially during the third and final year of the relationship, I thought the world of her. I could have died for her. I loved her that much. I thought she was a better human being than I was. I also thought she loved me. But I was wrong on both counts. She was simply more intelligent than I was and came from a family that had some more money than mine did. That was all. If I ran into her today, I wouldn't even look at her. To me, she was already dead. Dead in my heart. Indifference is a sign of death of love. In a way, she and Anita shaped me into who I am today.
-Who is Anita? Anita Ekberg?
-Don't be silly. Anita Pasado, that's who. A ghost in the past. Because of her, I've tried to improve my mind and body. A long, sad story. I can either talk about her for days or I just clam up. I prefer to not talk about her now.
-Do you like sex?
-I thought you told me you worked for a family publication.
-Yes, but you still can talk about sex in a sanitized, dignified, not salacious fashion, can't you? A man's sexuality says a lot about himself, psychologically speaking. I was sent over here to interview you because you are a very interesting man. You have been arousing, no pun intended, a lot of interest in you. Our readers want to know everything about you. So would you answer the question, please. Do you like sex?
-What kind of question is that? Of course I like it, but not as much as my women would like me to do. I find it boring after a while, not counting dirty and inconvenient and tiring. Sex is only beautiful if there is love involved. And I realized that the women didn't really love me. They loved themselves. They used me as a tool to love themselves. So I guess that was one of the reasons why the relationships didn't last. Harriette did love me, however. With the totality of her heart. May she rest in peace. I miss her terribly. Why did she have to die before I do?
-Do you lie?
-Another interesting question. Of course, I do, only when I have to (chuckling). I don't make a career out of it as some, scratch that, as most people do. I am generally a forthright, honest person. I want people to accept me and love me on the basis of who I really am, not who I pretend to be. In my writings, however, I've taken a lot of poetic license. I let my imagination and wishful thinking run wild.
-It seems to us you are awfully proud of your writings though you have not gathered them in book form and publish them. Why not?
-Because I am a coward who has no faith and confidence in his abilities. Most of what I have written are trash. Only a few poems of mine may endure.
-You are tackling Wittgenstein, a very tough row to hoe. Why?
-I approach philosophy in an amateur, dilettante sort of way. I pick up a bit of wisdom here and there so I can feel good about myself. Wittgenstein and Nietzsche are the only two philosophers I am trying to digest. I have tried to understand Wittgenstein for a long time, but made no serious efforts until now. Wittgenstein talked about the death of philosophy as traditionally conceived. He talked about language. The two areas interest me,
-You come across as angry, immature, old man. Why?
-I don't know. That's who I am, I guess (chuckling). I have ego. I have pride. I cannot stand people who are ignorant and stupid but think they are well-informed and smart. I just cannot stand them. Those people have no intellectual courage. They are poseurs and liars and cheaters. I am not.
-Does anybody love you right now, given that Harriette is dead and buried and gone for over a year now?
-Yes, besides my wife, there is at least one, but she does not really understand me, so there are problems. There's another one that's piqued my interest, but there are vastly complicating factors involved so I ruled that one out, too. And then there's another woman living far away who's taken a keen interest in me, but she appears to be a very bad cheapskate, much worse than me, so that won't fly. I have enough money to last me until I die, but I won't share it with cheapskate women. I would share it with fair-minded women, though.
-Are you a happy man?
-Much better than I used to. I don't think of suicide and homicide much anymore.
-Why is there obsession with violence?
-Because I am a violent guy. That's how my brain is constituted. But I am also capable of gentleness and compassion and love. The woman in Florida named Sassy knows that. I am trying to write violence away. It's working, albeit slowly.
-Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Wissai. I am sure, no, I hope that the readers will find this interview interesting.
-Listen, are you free next week? Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
-I am sorry. I can't. I am a lesbian.
-I thought so (chuckling) but I wanted to make sure. Please allow me to ride the elevator with you down to the street. May I do that? It's been splendid talking with you.
Wissai
November 14, 2013
Post-Interview Follow-Up:
The interviewer called me up and thanked me for speaking candidly during the interview, but she wondered if I made up some of the answers. I was upset, pointing out to her the self-contradiction in her question. I told her I didn't have a compelling reason to lie during the interview and that everything there was factual and that I just had a stupid, sick need to be understood. Maybe in the future that need will go away and I don't give a damn who I am and what people think of me. Humans are funny. They always project themselves on others. They think just because they lie most of the time, others do the same. I already explained during the interview that I only lied when I had to. As far as the questions addressed to me were concerned, they were not of a nature that I had to lie. I was oblique and vague in some of my answers, but I didn't lie.
Wissai
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