ALM revisited

Adolescence, Love, and Memory Revisited 

I posted Claire Needell's piece on Gone With The Wind in my blog. We all have our GWTW. Mine is Catcher in the Rye. Whenever I hold the tattered, Signet paperback issue with the price 50c embossed on the cover, memories of the summer of 1968 rushed back and wrapped me in an odd cocoon of innocence, stupidity, melancholy and sorrowful flutterings of my stupid, romantic, tender heart. I learned then and relearned over and over again as I moved through life that love was a strange but universal longing and only the attainment of the big-hearted and the mature. Selfish and childish humans may long for it but will never have it, not the pure and unadulterated version anyway. 

We say and do things to restore balance inside. Thus, liars sometimes unburden themselves and say the shocking truths. Seemingly gentle, nice folks say and do cruel things. Friendly people are deep down cold and distant. And stingy, miserly guys like me threw millions of dollars away. And Manny Pacquiao now has compassion for his boxing adversaries and regularly hold Bible study and prayer sessions for his entourage. So I should not be surprised to see short, fat, ugly, stingy, unaccomplished bitches think highly of themselves and accuse me of being a fraud just because I have stayed away from them after getting glimpses of their ugly interior. Harriette told me over and over again, "Honey, you don't know shit about women as you think you do. They are all liars and manipulators, at least the ones you told me about. Not a single one them deserved your affection. You are way too fucking good for them. From now on, I only want you to associate yourself with only nice, accomplished, dignified women, not trash and garbage and refuse and sewage. You hear me, honey? You have true love now. No need for you to look for it in the wrong places, with the wrong women. Have some respect for yourself. Go look at yourself in the mirror. A man like you deserves the best, not scum, not dredges and detritus of society, not the leftover, not the discarded, not the unwanted. You understand me, honey?"