Sigmund and Roberto

-Come on in, I thought you wouldn't show up.
-Sorry, Dr. Freud. I had an auto accident.
-Really? Just call me Sig. I am not as stuffy as people assume I am. Did anybody get hurt?
-No, you are an ambulance chaser, too?
-Don't be touchy now. Just making conversations. I see that you are safe and sound. That is all that matters to me. Why don't you lie down, take off your shoes. Make yourself comfortable. Just the shoes. I am not gay and I assume you are not either. You look angry and disturbed. Why?
-I went to a bar, just as you advised me to. I was sitting at a table in the back, drinking beer, listening to some jazz, feeling mellow and relaxed. Then this guy, about my age, maybe a few years older, sat down and politely asked me if I was with anybody else. I said, No. Mind if I join you, he said. Like a fool, I said, No. Then we started talking. You know me. All I want to talk about is philosophy.
-Sorry for interrupting. You mind if we make a detour and talk about your schooling and interests? Strange that we never talked about this last session.
-I formally studied literature, education, political science, business, insurance, and Spanish, in that order. I have several degrees. For fun, I usually just read and study languages. I read mostly philosophy, fiction, history, and news. I do some thinking, connecting the dots, and feeling sometimes very grand about myself, sometimes morose and homocidal. I used to feel suicidal, but that was a long time ago.
-Great, Roberto, now, you were saying about meeting a guy in the bar?
-Yeah, he was really weird. He started at first being very nice and reasonable. I have this stupid habit to talk about things I want to talk, not stuff somebody else wants to talk. I can be egotistical. Anyway, I started talking about Derrida. He tried to keep up, but it was obvious he was not familiar with Derrida, but that was OK. Then I went on talking about the thinking process and thinkers and all that shit. I mentioned people who had an impact on the way I think and view the world. I mentioned a couple of names. Then all the sudden, he went ballistic on me, telling me that if he wanted to know what those thinkers think, he would know go to Google. What he wanted to know is what I, Roberto, personally think, not what other people think. I patiently explained to him very few people think in a vacuum. We all owe intellectual debts. He didn't listen to me and stomped out of the bar.
-And you got upset and wanted to spend your precious money on me to talk about that.
-Yes, Sig.
-Then you are just as fucking sick as he is, Roberto. Go home, get into a hot bathtub, stay there as long as you like. Be sure don't fall asleep and get drowned or something. So, don't drink.
-Sig, you ARE mocking me.
-No, I am not. I am giving you real advice. The guy was lonely, just wanted to have an argument for the fun of it. He was being argumentative, playing Devil's advocate. He was not serious while you were as serious as a heart-attack and just about as real as a three-dollar bill. Come on, Roberto, lighten up. How old are you now, early 60's? You will get sick and die in a few years. Relax, live and let live. Read fewer books. Get out of the house. Find a hobby. Work for a charitable organization or something. Help the needy. And don't get too stuck up on yourself. You are not that smart. I am.

A few days elapsed. Weekend came around and was gone. Monday appeared and then followed by Tueday and Wednesday. On Thursday Roberto had another auto accident resulting in a concussion. He passed out cold and woke up in a hospital. He became more subdued and less aggressive. There was a melancholy look about him. By Monday he was discharged. He called Sig for a consultation session to be scheduled on Tuesday of the same week. He didn't bother to tell Sig about his second and more serious accident.

-Hi Roberto. Back too soon? You lost some weight? And you do look kind of pale.
-Sig, we need to talk.
-Shoot!
-I got time on my hands the last few days, so I really did some serious thinking. And I think you were absolutely right. I was too intense for my own good. I need to just learn to practice serious contempt.
-What's bothering you now? Spit it out. Maybe I am the only friend you have, now that Silvio is in jail for bailing you out of the mess you created. You were really lucky to have a friend like Silvio.
-I think ordinary contempt expresses itself in condemnations and attempted conversations. Serious contempt requires complete silence because one doesn't want to lower oneself to hold a dialogue with phonies and cowards and ignoramuses because one sees with perfect clarity that understanding is virtually impossible with those who are not into truth and knowledge.
-What? You drove all the way over here, across town, in the middle of the day, to tell me that? You know I am billing you for my time, right? And I am not cheap. Never was. Never will be.
-Cut the fuck out, will you, Sig? I am serious, here.
-OK, mate. No offense intended. Just want to save you money. Believe it or not, I care about you, Roberto. Of course, what you told me a few seconds ago was absolutely true. The problemm with you is that you take everything to heart. Don't you ever laugh? Laugh, Roberto, laugh. You would go through life much more easily and you will live much longer if you just learn to see that life is a fucking comedy, man. It really is and most humans are fucking nothing but clowns. They are clowns but they love to be appear solemn and respectable so what do they do? They talk nonsense. Their thoughts don't add up. They make no sense. Their facts are all mixed up and poorly interpreted. Just fucking ignore them and pay attention to your health. Sleep more, eat right, do exercises. And don't come here anymore. Call me instead. I will not charge you anymore. Poor you. You've suffered enough. Capisce?