The Other

Sartre is famous for saying "Hell is the Other" (L'enfer, c'est les autres). The Other gives us hell and creates the hellish conditions for us. They make us suffer. They are different from us.

Buddha thought differently. There is no Other. We are all linked. We are One. The Other is an illusion. The person whom you hate is just another dimension of you. You must get to know him and understand how he feels and thinks and you will see that he is not different from you. Once you realize that, you don't hate him anymore. You achieve compassion. Your own passion of hating is gone. Passion is subjective, self-centered. Compassion is universal and outer-directed. Compassion is better than passion. Uncontrolled passion leads to disaster, not enlightenment, not understanding. Compassion helps you overcome suffering. You suffer because you are self-oriented. You think solely from your own perspective. True Pride is different from Ego. There's nothing wrong to think you are good and nobody is as good as you are, but you needs proofs and evidence. If you have no proofs and evidence, that's ego talking. What people take for pride, it's usually ego. You of course need to deal and have intercourse (not sexual intercourse, silly you, I mean social intercourse) with the Other in order to fully understand who you are. All the theories you've constructed, all the thoughts you have about yourself and the world, don't amount to anything unless they are tested in the open market which is called society. Your own room where you practice meditation is not society. By dealing with the Other, you discover who you are. A man learns about himself by comparing and contrasting himself with others in the open market. My job takes me to many different places. I meet strangers from all walks of life. I talk to them and I learn that I have a lively sense of humor and my customers like that and I like that, too. My humor validates something about myself. I discover that without talking with people, my sense of humor withers and wilts. It needs daily interactions with the Other. I also discover that there are many nice, decent people out there, people who are much better than me in terms of civility and ethics. And I learn from them. I learn to control myself when I am about to get angry. I learn to curb my sarcasm. I learn that I need the Other to be really happy. I am not that strong to be happy just by being by myself. I am not a real recluse. I am a social animal. I have to be responsive to the needs of my animal heritage and roots.