Ignorance

Ignorance

Most, if not a great majority, people feel offended if they are called ignorant. Not me! I perversely thank anybody who tells me straight to my face that I don't know Jack shit what I 'm talking about. I would then proceed asking him in this sweet voice of mine to show me where my ignorance lies. If he does seem that he knows the subject better than me, I will listen to him closely and respectfully. At the
end, I will thank him sincerely. And I thus gain a friend and a teacher. My desire to learn far supersedes my need to protect my ego. This lovely, sweet, adorable trait of mine has been my saving, redeeming grace.

When I was about fifteen, after I had made a fool of myself and stirred up trouble in class, the teacher asked me to see him after class. I had expected punishment, but he took both of my hands into his and kindly said the following:

"You're smart enough to know what you did was wrong. Why did you do that? The war is killing a lot of smart but unstudious kids like you. Go home and study hard. I hate to see you flunk the national exams two years from now, and then get drafted, and die in this stupid war. You have potential. Don't waste it. Don't die over anything not worthwhile. Don't die over this stupid war. Value your life."

His words sent a chill up and down my spine. I cried. And I promised to him that I would value education and my life. The next day, I became a changed person. I hit the books and stayed off the streets. And knowledge has turned me on every since.

I respond well to kindness and sweetness, to forgiveness and understanding. On the contrary, I have had a hard time dealing with selfishness, phoniness, harshness, and authoritarianism. Today the weather is gorgeous where I am. I feel alive, peaceful, and strong.

I will hit the books hard after I get back from work today. I have neglected my reading. I was busy showing off and defending myself against personal attacks of me, instead of my arguments. While it was true that my self-defense was cogently argued, I was wasting precious time. The time used in showing off how smart and informed I was, should have been put to much better use.

It's more important for me to be a better person of today than who I was of yesterday, than to prove I am smarter or more informed than my friends. Nobody loves a braggart. I must confess, however, that seeing how incredibly articulate I could be when I had to be, did make me feel good about myself. The process of transcribing thoughts into words in a foreign language fascinates me, especially when my brain has to make a choice which foreign language it needs to direct its attention to.