Life, Death, and Meaning of Both

Nietzsche once made a very nasty remark that the Jews loved life so much that they were willing to pay for it at whatever price, including truth. Nietzsche was an iconoclast. He sought controversies and his writings were provocative, profound, and contradictory at the same time. I am of course no match for Nietzsche, but I did read some of his books, two of which, I read over and over again. The last book of his was a compilation of his views of himself and of the books he had written. It had the title Ecce Homo, finished barely a few weeks before he collapsed and became insane. I love that book and do have a fear that my fate might be like his. Let's wait and see. Anyway, in that book, his thoughts soared and some passages were embarrassingly silly and poetic and beautiful at the same time. Such is the attraction of the man.

Nietzsche does influence me. After all, he and I shared the same birthday. He was 104 years older and much, much wiser. In moments of solitude, I always come back to him, to Ecce Homo. He inspired me to study German, but I am such an undisciplined person that I am barely able to read a newspaper, let alone a book of philosophy.

German soldiers carried his books in their knapsacks during WWI. And I occasionially sleep with Ecce Homo on my chest. It helps me fall asleep faster. I know I have written about Nietzsche before. And I will write about him again and again when the mood suits me, as it does right now. Writing about him calms me down and strengthens me in the process. It gives me a perspective about the nature of humans and beasts. As much as I read about philosophy and psychology, I now realize I am intrinsically naive and don't know much about cunning, deceit, and the sheer will to live--- like the Jews allegedly possess--- at any price and at any costs. But then my mind just made a quantum leap and reminded me that there are men like the main character in Albert Camus novel The Stranger who just lives and dies by his own codes, with no questions, no begging, no excuses. Those men know whether they die today or ten, twenty years from today does not make an iota of difference in the overall scheme of things. What counts is the awareness that they live with pride and dignity, and they fulfill the duty as expected of them.

Those men are the ones I would like to meet. Those are the ones I would like to associate myself with so I can learn from their nobility, their love, their intrinsic beautiful humanity.
(cont.)