The song on the Net brought tears to my eyes and transported me back in time. Love was short yet the bittersweet memories refused to die. It is what it is. Everything has a price. My innocence and idealism are gone, and I've become wiser. The lessons I have learned:
1. Take risks but be prepared for the consequences.
2. Don't swim against the rising tide.
3. Have True Pride. Work on myself on all aspects, especially financially and physically.
4. The Life I save must be my own.
5. Treat others the way I want to be treated.
6. Stay away from self-destructive women. You can't save them. Pity only those who deserve your pity. Beware of bitches. Use your compassion selectively and wisely.
7. Watch for silver lining in all unpleasant events. At least you gain experience.
8. If you don't respect yourself. Nobody else would. Self-Respect means to take care of your body, appearance, and mind. Be temperate in food, drink, and speech. And of course, be financially independent. Nobody respects a beggar.
9. To learn something about how people think of you, earnestly ask for their opinions. Most people would give you an honest, but not necessarily correct, answer.
10. Laugh a lot. Practice Laugh Yoga.
Elizabeth Bishop once wrote "the art of losing isn’t hard to master". Everybody has that art. But to make an artwork of loss and pain and bitterness is not easy. I have tried to handle gracefully and with restraint the issue of abandonment and the feelings of rage and self-pity. I have meditated on the Wisdom of Silence and the Stupidity of Sarcasm.
I want to have a firm control over my empire of conflicting emotions.
Now as I navigate through the remainder of my life after the sudden demise of her passion for me, I am mindful of the swerves and near-accidents, the kinks of fate, and the tangles of desires. In brief, I am into survival and safety now. I am tired of being a fool, either by my own volition or through someone's manipulation.
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