Why Do I Use Curse Words?

God or the reverse is an exceedingly difficult and complex subject because the notion means different things to different people. We humans usually associate God with personhood and forget God is a man-made construct, a personification of a process which has no interest in Man because it cannot, but certainly the process has an impact on Man. I can tell you this: out of 6.7 billion humans on this planet, maybe 1,000 or so think as I do regarding God. If I have a gift, it is metaphysics. It is even more striking a gift than a thirst for knowledge and languages. That's why I have a Messiah complex. I preach all the time to everybody including myself, regardless of whether they listen or not. During the process of preaching, I get closer and closer to what I am trying to understand and that is why I am here and where I am going. Several friends died recently and people went through the motion of expressing condolences, some did that more quickly than others. I didn't feel an urge or a social obligation to be politically correct and express my condolences. Instead, I meditated more on the meaning of death, and hence life, and nature of happiness and contentment and on why I let ignorant and insensitive and stupid assholes and motherfuckers bother me in the past. Life is getting very short. I must continue on my journey and pay no mind to barking dogs.

My cursing at them didn't win them over, but surely made me feel better. If I hold my anger and contempt inside, I probably will kill them. Have you not heard of venting? Anyway, most humans are fucking animals and hypocrites. That was why Hitler killed them like dogs. Of course, a great majority of his victims were innocent and all of them, except for a few individuals, didn't do him any harm. But the point here is that he had a ferocious contempt and hatred for most humans except to those who showed him loyalty, then he treated them with kindness and generosity (Read Fest's biography of Hitler). Most humans really are animals. They are selfish, cowardly, greedy, lying, cruel, and power hungry. Their veneer of respectability disappears the moment their interests or egos are negatively affected and they revert to their basic animal nature. Very few humans are proper humans. If you don't believe me, look around you and ask yourself how many friends you really have and how many acquaintances and relatives and associates you can trust your life and money with. You got my point? Fuck yes, I am a real human, but not a strong one. That's why I am suffering. Many times I wish I were an animal like the scumbags and douche bags I despise, but I just cannot. I am made of better stuff. That's why you are seeing that I am back to being a recluse. My venting here in this blog is my way of making assholes and motherfuckers know I am still alive, but I no longer have any interest in interacting with them.