Pride and Dignity

Pride and Dignity

Flashbacks torture you because of your pride and sense of dignity. Don't ever do anything that compromise these two bedrocks of principles that govern your life and shape your conduct. Pride compels and impels you to move forward. Dignity saves you from acts of self-debasement. Don't act like a monkey. Carry yourself with regal imperiousness.

Once upon a time you loved a girl with all your heart, but she was not serious about you. She toyed with your heart. You foolishly suffered for a long time. You were not practical. You don't have ruthlessness inside you. You find it hard up to interact with assholes and motherfuckers and liars and cowards. To you, they are merely animals with a human face. That was why for years you stayed away from them. You didn't want to get disturbed.

Yesterday you tried to engage a guy in higher human impulses, but he got on his high horse and gave you lectures and excuses. So you backed off and gave up on him. You didn't bother to present any further arguments. You saw there was no use to do so. His mind was closed. He had the blinders on. Most humans are like that, lacking phylogenetic development. As you said before, the more you interact with others, the more you are appreciative of your nature which is marred with impetuosity and gullibility, but still better than that of most.

You looked at a very attractive girl sitting across from you at the airport. Her beauty calmed you down. You told yourself that you would work hard to get your financial situation in order, not necessarily to win the heart of anybody, but to feel good about yourself. The flashbacks involving women just reinforce the validity of causal concatenations and the causes of sufferings for following emotional and biological imperatives.

You keep telling you that you are good and kind and decent until one day you find yourself transformed by that belief. You are more patient and less condemning. Almost all of your concerns are about the interiority of a man because with humans the inside determines largely how he presents himself to the world unless the outside environment is so overpowering that the man's inner strength is sapped and eventually goes empty.