Survival

Survival

Somebody called you up and asked to borrow money. He started with $500 then worked downward to $100. He was persistent and pleasant. And so were you in refusing to lend the money. You simply said money was scarce for you, too and you needed to hang on every bit of it to survive. That was the truth and so was the fact that you didn't to be a sucker again. In the past, you lent people money only to see that humans were ugly and dishonorable. You lost tens of thousands of dollars as a result of your gullibility and kindness. You wanted to help people in times of hardships, but due to past experiences, you have come to a realization that the life you save should be your own. You have tried to save lives in the past and almost died in the process. There is something very ugly about humans. It's called ingratitude.

The phone call of the guy who asked you for money was a wake-up call. You must learn to manage your finances so you won't be in his shoes. You think you would rather kill yourself than begging for help.

You knew personally about human indifference and unkindness. People talk and yelp about love, but when you need help, nobody would come forward. The last time you were in the financial dumps and screamed for help, not a single soul answered your plea. You had to dig deep inside you to get out of the slump yourself. Ever since you have felt an unbearable sense of loneliness. When you think in terms of survival, all notions of romanticism and reverie are thrown out of the window. Love only occurs when the stomach is full unless the one who needs help right now was the one who unselfishly helped you in the past. So far nobody has done that to you. You are always the one who helps others. Sad.