I'm better than them, more honest intellectually, more inquisitive. I know that. I'm secure in that knowledge. I no longer have the desire to show it. They're so fucking stupid and ignorant, to the point that merits my contempt, and none of my pity. They might as well drop dead or get burned alive in the incinerator. I don't really care, for they're no longer human, in my eyes.
I don't think I'm crippled by anhedonia or misanthropy. I'm just tired of the stupid, ignorant, self-righteous motherfucking fools and scumbags. Now I understand why evil takes place. Now I understand how Hitler thought. But I don't have to behave as Hitler. Evil began with contempt or envy, instead of acceptance. I accept, thus I don't commit acts of evil.
Mind you, I'm an anthropologist, a sociologist, a psychologist and a philosopher all rolling into one. I'm not a voyeur. Neither am I a misanthropist. I get my hands dirty with my study subjects. I jump into the trenches. I study them at close range.
I once took Karate in my first year of postgraduate studies as a way to combat stress. During one of those sparring sessions, I got kicked in the head, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I was in a hospital, undergoing a CT (computed tomography) scan. The scan didn't find any damage to my brain, apart from the contusio cerebri (Latin for cerebral contusion) but I was sure there must have been some damage because after that, my behavior changed. I got more loquacious than usual, my associative powers increased, and my flair for languages skyrocketed. I also became morose and suicidal and homicidal and impossibly romantic. I took up writing love poetry and reading philosophy.
I got an email informing me that somebody died after an epic 30-month valiant fight against a case of terminal cancer. I wonder if I would put up such an intense fight if the outcome is already known ahead of time. To live is to come to terms with the reasons for our continued existence despite the inevitability of Death.
If you are stupid and ignorant, and somebody points that out to you, you would still be stupid and ignorant when you protest to the contrary instead of admitting the facts and sad truths, and working on your shortcomings. Only smart, sensitive, and honest individuals like me have a chance to improve themselves intellectually. The rest of the human race get bogged down in the mire and swamplands of ego and false pride. Fuck, I really don't mind to be told to my face that I'm stupid and ignorant. In fact, I've been told so many times and each time I keep silent instead of defending myself. If the statement was correct, that would spur me to improve myself. If the statement was false, I would just despise the asshole that made the statement. This world is full of stupid and ignorant assholes and scumbags who are burdened with an inferiority complex. These animals pollute the Human gene pool. They envy and utter snide remarks and write cheap sarcastic verses instead of working on improving their minds and their hearts. Isn't that pathetic or what? Contempt might be indicate of Arrogance, but cheap Sarcasms and Insults is an admission of Inferiority Complex. In the forest, not all trees are of the same height; in the human world, not all men are equal in terms of character, intelligence, knowledge, power, and wealth. Accept our genetic and environmental lottery, then do the best as we can be.
(To be continued)
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