Midnight Reveries and Fantasies
She said, "It's okay that I love you, even though you're an unavailable man---happily or not, that is immaterial to me. What matters is that you are lovable. What matters is that I don't have a strong desire to go to bed with you. Not yet anyway."
I laughed out loud at the absurdities of her assertions. I pointedly told her that she should pay more attention to the longevity and duration and true nature of her affection for me than my availability or her concern about the physical demonstrations of her affection.
She then said that the period in which she discovered that her affection for me grew with each passing day was more exciting than the present day, now that she has declared that she loves me, platonically, although she is struggling not to go beyond it.
I solemnly replied that the heart would have a way to let us know if our feelings are true or false. Yes, lust often masquerades itself as love while love does not have to take refuge behind any mask. Love shines brightly in the darkest night. Love endures against the ravages of time and the horrors of physical separation as long as the love object stays lovable. Love is comforting to the love object because it makes him/her feel that he/she is lovable and cared for, and not a totally repulsive human character. That's why I hang onto a notion---no matter how tenuous and unrealistic and far-fetched---that I am an attractive, sexy, charming man and I am desirable to women of all ages and ethnicities.
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