Why Do I Write?

Why Do I Write?

Assholes rarely ask themselves the above question. Fuck, they don't usually even bother to ask the most fundamental question: Why do I want to live? They just live, like barnyard animals, while fancying that they are complex organisms and few real humans, if any, would understand them. Assholes tend to give themselves too much credit and false bravura of self-confidence. Then if suffering and misery arrive, they lift their heads to the sky and ask their "God" a stupid question" "God, why me?". I told you, life is a comedy if you know where and how to look. 

Yesterday, there were so many comedies and farces that I thought I was at a "Feast of Fools". If a man cannot handle or practice silence, he would be overwhelmed by noise. Ever since humans arrived on the scene, the planet Earth has been suffering from the surfeit of noise. 

Life is a relentless march to oblivion and extinction. We must do so in silence and equanimity. Fuck, silence is equanimity. Assholes never know I know about silence. They look at my "behavior" and automatically assume that I know nothing about silence. What they see leads them to "think" that they know about the nature of things and organisms.

Something is dying inside me. The more empathy I gain, the less sympathy I have. Indifference is taking over me. I still have some moments of peace, however. Yesterday, for example, as I gave an elderly black bum some change, he thanked me and smiled wanly.  Later in the evening as I was sitting cross-legged and counted my breaths, I was thinking of that smile. I of course could not my breaths for long. I couldn't concentrate. The wan smile kept coming back to me. I think I detected some trace of pride and embarrassment from the man from his smile. Sometimes we smile so we don't have to cry or rush out and kill a bunch of innocent people. If we have to kill, kill those who made us suffer. Hunt them down and kill them all, one by one. That way, we may regain our peace. Start with the one that "thinks" that others are "dense" and  "losers". Fuck, the midget kike bitch is too stupid that it is barely monolingual and can hardly express itself coherently. No man wants it. And it goes around fancying itself that it is a "Buddhist" and calls others "dense" and "losers". Fuck the insolent motherfucker! Gas it and throw it into an incinerator where it belongs. Heil Hitler!  Do I look "dense" and a "loser" in this photo?