So, you read another sad story about a returning soldier with PTSD who killed his pregnant wife, his 2-year-old daughter, and then himself. Reading the account brought back flashbacks of your own mental instability of one time and how close you were with an early death and you turned to reading psychology and then philosophy and eastern religions for help. Now you have some insights to deal with existential problems.
The key thing you are recognizing is your grappling with the issue of power and how your reactions to it. You must cope with the frustrations. You must also admit that suicide is the cowardly way out. If you must kill, you will kill the ones---the assholes and douche bags--- that caused you pain, not yourself and your loved ones. Always be rational in your thinking. Get sufficient sleep. Avoid putting yourself in situations where assholes and motherfuckers have power over you. Rise above your need of validation and affirmation. Avoid fools and stupid people because sooner or later they would say or do something stupid to make you angry. Fools and ignorant folks are better off to keep their mouths shut at all times. What they say have no value, but sadly they don't know that truth. They keep opening their mouths and spew nonsense. You hate stupidity and ignorance. You were once stupid and ignorant yourself. You couldn't keep your mouth shut. You did not know you were ignorant.
Assholes and hypocrites need to be avoided. You must be patient and smart.
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