Bellyaching

Bellyaching

You have said ad nauseam that we can tell a great deal about a man by the way he writes and what he is bellyaching about. It has reached the point you don’t bother to post your views in the forum anymore because you are getting physically sick of reading the nonsense and the trivia and the hysteria over banality posted in that forum. You don’t want your views get contaminated by that trash.

You get increasingly annoyed by the poses adopted by cowards there. All they do is talk nonsense or remain strangely silent over important matters. When it comes to do something useful and concrete for Vietnam, all kinds of excuses are invented. They must drink the same kind of water, reserved for selfish and timid creatures.

Vietnam is in danger of being overrun by China with the complicity of the corrupt and inept Vietcong. Yet, the so-called intellectuals overseas of Vietnamese descent, at least those you know personally, sit on their asses doing nothing. What a fucking pathetic crowd. You wonder how those bastards can sleep at night, what kind of parents they have, and whether they are truly human.

You are “writing” a plagiarized story which provided you with much therapeutic relief. You feel somewhat better now. Writing the story helped you deal with love and betrayal, fear and death, suicide and homicide. You still think about her, about a love (could be one-sided) gone sour and the scar it left in your heart. As you preach time and time again, one does not know what one is made of until one is tested. You were tested and you proved that you did love her. She was tested and she turned out to be an idol with feet of clay. Then it dawned on you that despite your constant bragging, you don’t know shit about the human heart. Still, writing the story has brought you come temporary peace. You feel tranquil inside. You think you are able to sleep tonight without the aid of booze. You promise to yourself that upon waking up tomorrow, prior to departure for work, you are going to clean up your pigsty apartment.

Wissai
September 2009