Why I Am Acting The Way I Am. A Rambling Discourse

Why I Am Acting The Way I Am. A Rambling Discourse

Life is an endless, conflicting series of demands and needs between Self and Other(s). That statement is a self-evident fact and a truism. Those who disagree with the statement should read no further. You're too dumb and ignorant to understand me. The world is divided into two perpetual groups: majority and minority, just like the state of human affairs and most of the conditions in the physical world: the rule/average and the exceptions. One must know to which category one belongs. The exalted and sublime or the common and humbug. The Soaring Eagle or The Barnyard Chicken.

Unlike Nietzsche who fearlessly wrote a book ("Ecce Homo") in which the chapters bear headings Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, Why I Write Such Good Books, Why I Am a Destiny. I cannot brag of similar attributes and accomplishments. Humans long for possessing talents and accomplishments that set them apart from the rest. It's sad and depressing and damaging to one's ego and conception of oneself if one cannot find a single thing/attribute/ability that makes one feel good about oneself. It's a tough job to resign oneself to the fact that one is a plain Joe, boring, average, undistinguished, unnoticeable, just like a pebble on the beach or a grain of sand in the desert. That's why most average, common, untalented folks lie, exaggerate, make up stories about themselves, and slander others so they could feel better about themselves or bring others down to their level. Very few of them are happy with the way they are and their lot in life. I maintain that in order to be happy we must know who we are and where we stand in relation to others. Reality is what it is, not what we say it is or what we wish it were. 

In the realm of ideas, Nietzsche had at least one original idea about morality; Wittgenstein had at least two about language; Descartes elevated the common sense about dualism into a cogent system of thought while Buddhism exposed the nonsense of dualism, with increasing support by modern theoretical physics. Freud had something to say about the conflicting nature of man, especially the Death Wish side of it. He might also be on the right track about the roots of human sexuality and love. I have wrecked my brain to see if I have any original idea/exceptional talent, and I have found none. It's very unlikely I will find one before I die. However, I must say this: I have more self-honesty and intellectual honesty than most folks. A mediocre asshole who cannot bear seeing others outshine him loves to gratuitously and blithely dish out insults but has no courage or fair play to take any insults in return. A flunkie bitch brazenly accused others of being stupid flunkies. We hate others for what we hate inside us. 

Anyway, while I have not published any poems, stories and essays---and it's unlikely I ever will. I lack true vanity and self-confidence---I have a nagging idea that among Vietnamese-Americans, very few could rival me in translating Vietnamese poems into English. I sometimes wonder how far I could go with English if I have not spread myself too thin. I don't have to be curious about languages other than English. And I must not waste my time interacting or debating with assholes and scumbags and flunkies. Still, I must admit that I am fascinated by the behavior of those who are infected with degeneracy and morbidity. 

Of Tender Mercies and Longings

Of Tender Mercies  and Longings

They were not yet sixteen, but nourished and sustained by a diet rich with dairy products and bovine flesh saturated with growth hormones, they blossomed under the sun and on the high plateaus of New Mexico, and exuded a raw, heart-pulsating sexuality and a blinding beauty to match. Their proud and concerned parents had warned them of the dangers of life and the treacheries of the human heart. But they were too confident to listen and too young to understand. 

One day a Summer shower passed through town. The girls took refuge under an umbrella underneath a mesquite tree. An old man with a young heart happened to drive by. Their beauty and budding sexuality reminded him of the lines a certain man had plagiarized: 

Áo nàng vàng anh sẽ yêu em đó

Áo nàng xanh, anh mãi nhớ em kia

Hai em tươi cười thân hình nhỏ thó

Áo ướt rồi, anh ngắm mãi không "dìa"

I'll fall in love with the girl with a yellow dress 

But I will ever remember the young lady in blue

How beautiful the slender figures, how radiant the smiles

Wet are your dresses, and from them I can't take off my eyes

-Dirty old man, go away! You're embarrassing us!

-I may be old, but dirty I never am. Please forgive me. I can't help myself. I can't hide from what I admire. Be that as it may, I now see you ladies are shivering. Be careful. You may get a cold. And that may mar your beauty. Where do you live? I'd be glad to take you home. This rain looks like it's not going to end soon.

-Our Mommy told us not to get into a car with a stranger

-Your mother was absolutely right. The world we live in is full of evils. Beware of the treacheries of the human heart. Anyway, nice to meet you two. Thanks for talking to me. For a brief moment, I went back in time when I was young and green and falling in love was such an easy thing to do. You take care.

-But wait a minute.

Wissai

August 4, 2014

A Hard Man Is Good to Find

A Hard Man Is Good to Find. 

I've read Flannery O'Connor's story "A Good Man is Hard to Find" a million times. I just read it again. I read it like a poor devout, not so bright, God-fearing Southern sharecropper of yore who was lucky to be taught how to read. So he would read the Bible twice a day, before he went to bed, and right after he woke up. He had read it for so long that he remembered all the passages, from both the Old and New Statement. He also attended churches. He listened attentively to the sermons. He even went to Bible Studies classes. He asked questions. And he took all the answers to heart. I imagined that every day, especially at bedtime, as he read his favorite passages, his heartbeat slowed down and he believed that he was in communion with God because he was told the Bible was God's words. Right before he fell asleep, he placed the Bible down on his bedside table and shortly thereafter he slept soundly, like a baby, confident that God loved and protected him. The sharecropper lived until 103. He was found dead in bed with the Bible lying next to him. The book was open. The man was reading Ecclesiastes.

I know I am an atheist, but I always respect and love those who take their religion seriously to the point they are transformed by their beliefs and become good, moralistic, compassionate humans. I know, to some humans, religion is good and a transforming force. 

FO's story has been considered a masterpiece, widely anthologized and taught in college classes. It is ambiguous morally and full of ultra violence. I read it and re-read it for the morals, not the violence even though I am a person capable of violence. I read it and re-read it so I can come to terms with who I am, and with the self-righteous liars and the evils in this world. 

Many people, including my wife, have told me that I have artistic sensibilities. They have told me that I am not evil, that I am honest, fair-minded and not a control freak, that I am kind and there's so much good inside me. While it is pleasant to my soul to hear all those affirmations and validations, I suppose I am drawn to the story because I don't want to be like Mr. Misfit in the story. Also, I suppose I want to save my soul and my life. 

Life is the sum of our experiences. Life is also the sum of our choices. Human is an intelligent animal who knows, to a very large extent, that he is morally free in making choices, that he does not have to be a slave of his environment. That was why even in the degrading extreme environment of Nazi concentration camps, there were some individuals who refused to give in to evils. They chose human dignity and self-respect to survival. Jehovah's Witnesses, generally speaking, were such individuals. While almost all other individuals lied, stole, kissed asses, and did whatever shameful acts so they could live another day, the Jehovah's Witnesses clung to the values taught by their beliefs. Their religion did them good. In Las Vegas, traditionally, employers look for applicants with Mormon faith because the Mormons, no matter how ridiculous the doctrines of their religion are, are upright and honest and helpful. Their religion have done them good. That's why their church is growing. However, they are having problems with their doctrines from within from inquiring minds. For a self-proclaimed atheist, I have an abiding interest in religious matters. Those who know me well, and they are all women, have remarked that I am a religious person, deep down.

Even in ordinary, non-extreme circumstances, there are human animals who feel they must win at all costs. So they lie, make up stories about themselves and others, so they would look good and honorable. There are assholes and scumbags who would blithely and gratuitously dish out insults to others, but could not take any insults in return. I call these animals cowardly. Cowardice has at least two manifestations: physical and moral. From my perspective, social etiquette and political correctness don't mean shit if a person behaves less than a subhuman, if an individual does not respect facts and truths, if a man has no real self-respect and true pride. If we decide to, if we choose to badmouth others, our character assassination has to base on facts and logic, not on lies and sophistry. Anybody who cannot handle facts and logic cannot deal with me. I am a hard man. I am hard on myself and on others. I am hard on facts and logic and fairness and truths and beauty. I am also hard on liars and cowards. To me, a hard man is good to find. A character (he and the grandmother are the two most complex and important characters in the story) called Mr. Misfit was a hard man. I am fascinated by him. His choice and worldview might be brutal, but they were bound by facts and logic. Yet, despite my recognition of a kindred spirit in Mr. Misfit, I refuse to conduct myself like him. There has to be a sense of fair play in everything we do. A punishment must be in proportion to the crime. And above all, our conduct must be surrounded and uplifted by grace. Mr. Misfit didn't have to kill the whole family, especially the grandmother who instinctively clung to life and begged and begged him for mercy. Yes, Grace is what distinguishes us from subhumans, sets apart gentlemen from brutes. There must be a sense of Beauty and Truth in what we do and what we say, besides just mere facts and logic. 

A final note: I think the title of the story should be as I suggested. It's more fitting, albeit jolting and amoral. 

I strongly urge you to read the story. It could change how you look at life and at yourself. There's wisdom in literature. 

Wissai

August 3, 2014

canngon.blogspot.com

Judaism, Atheism, Anti-Semitism, Religion, and Meaning of Life

Judaism, Atheism, Anti-Semitism, Religion, and Meaning of Life

"… But Roberto, life is a race against oblivion. Time is precious. Please, darling, don't squander your resources on assholes and scumbags. Start living. You don't have much time left. "

That was what a woman from way up north in the frigid Fairbanks told me after I had narrated to her a recent ugly "episode" about an ugly asshole who loved dishing out gratuitous insults but could not take any in return. She is an old--- yes, old and ancient, but crusty and combative like hell---friend of Jewish descent, and an atheist to boot. Yes, Judaism is not monolithic. It has many branches, one of which embraces atheism warm-heartedly. In some ways, Judaism marked a real development in human intellectual endeavors. Of course, I don't agree with some of its self-serving claims, but I understand a people had to make up bullshit stories and create myths about themselves to give them strength and pride so they could survive. One thing that endears Judaism to me is that it has an intellectual tradition and a respect for learning. Its metaphysical claims are not too stupid, nonsensical, and downright ridiculous like those of Christianity and, to a lesser extent, Islam. In this regard, the parent was stronger and more intellectual than his two children. Judaism is more concerned with the here and now, with things on this planet, with survival. It embraces life fiercely. 

Atheism is concerned with the same things as Judaism minus the mumbo jumbo bullshit about "God" that has been forced down the throat of young or undeveloped minds. I am so glad that American Atheists Association (the AAA with an attitude) just launched a channel, accessible via Roku, so atheists have something to watch. Its president, a David Silverman (a Jew, no less) asserted that "Atheist TV is live, and it’s going to stay live, 24/7, until the sun burns out." 

One cannot talk about Judaism and Atheism without mentioning anti-Semitism. In a recent brief dispatch from the western front of intellectual inquiry, I mentioned the three reasons (my own and not necessarily politically correct reasons. Almost everything coming out of me is not politically correct or socially acceptable) that accounted for the phenomenon of anti-Semitism: complicity in the death of Jesus of Nazareth, treachery and attempt on the life of Muhammad, everyday conduct of most Jews. Now I am "happy" to report that the current brutal Zionist genocidal campaign against the hapless and helpless Palestinians in the Gaza Strip has rekindled and inflamed sentiments and displays of anti-Semitism in Europe, even in Germany. Apparently, feelings of remorse about the Holocaust are receding in Deutschland. Good, that's the price the Zionists have to pay for persecuting the Palestinians after robbing the land from them. Like the Nazis who viewed the Jews as subhumans, the Zionists now regard the Palestinians the same way. This has been well documented in news reports, but if you want clear references, read "War" by Ian Morris.

 

Religion has been used as an excuse for so many evils in this world. I definitely think in this day and age, if you must rely on the crutches of religion to find meaning of life, you are not much of a thinker. Philosophy, yes. Religion, no. Philosophy is an open-ended inquiry. Religion is a close-ended, hermetic, self-deluded enterprise.  

Thus Spoke Wissai

August 2, 2014

canngon.blogspot.com

Loving the Unlovable

Eric Segal says love means never say you are sorry. Siddartha Gautama says we must love one another as Love heals and transforms while Hate reinforces and perpetuates the status quo. A wise friend of mine says Love means you love those who need love the most, i.e., the unlovable. Love does not mean much if we only choose to love the lovable. I am only an ordinary, unwise, immature human so I am only capable of loving those who are lovable and staying away from the spiritually leprous and the unlovable. 

Yesterday, somebody called me an idiot. I politely told him, "please call me by my true name, I am only a moron". Seven other persons at the table, where I was at, burst out laughing. He then said I didn't know how to speak English. I quietly asked him for a financial contest of English vocabulary. Each contestant puts up ten words, asking the other guy for spelling and definition. Online dictionary on the smartphone would be the judge. Who scores the most correct answers would be the winner. Each word would be worth $10. Predictably, he backed down and kept his mouth shut. But at least that guy, though full of puffery, had enough common sense to shut his mouth when realizing he met his superiors. Another dude whom I know quite well, is so fond of bestial imagery, especially that of horses and water buffaloes, when dishing out insults, that makes me often wonder if his forebears had lived closely among horses and water buffaloes or even committed acts of bestiality with these poor animals. This dude doesn't have common sense so he doesn't know to shut his mouth up. He does not know (from pitiful, pathetic lack of self-awareness) the more he talks, the more he reveals his stupidity, his ignorance, and his bestial background. 

I have a lot of shortcomings, but I fancy that I have a modicum of self-awareness. I know I am unlovable. That's why I am thrilled to have Bác Tiếp and Bác Trác consider me as a friend. More importantly, I am delighted, grateful, even ecstatic, that my wife has not said goodbye to me. 

I am trying very hard to be affable like Messrs. Tiep and Trac. Maybe I should take Buddha's words more to heart. Maybe I should open my heart to those who don't know how to shut up since I am the one who don't know how to shut up either. 

Postcriptum:

A not-so-secret and quite ardent fan of mine religiously follows my blog although she lives way up in Fairbanks and has not actually met me in person though she has seen my photos (I am a very vain man. Vanity has its own advantages. It has forced me to hit the gym and the books. Besides, I am not bad in the looks department, either. Okay, now, you know that I love to brag. My mantra is that a man has got to be his most ardent fan. To me, a man, especially an insecure one like me, must be allowed--in fact, must be encouraged---to brag from sunrise to sunset [other time periods are for rest and recuperation]. Bragging is good for the soul. It brings a smile---sometimes even laughs, and along with them a lọt of much needed oxygen into the system---to the braggart, helping him to look cheerful and happy, even if inside, he's dying of loneliness and wrecked by feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.) called me up and we had the following conversation. I'm going to recollect it as much as I can.

-Roberto, mi querido, que' paso'?

-Nada. 

-Bollocks! Dime la verdad. Que' paso'? Goddamit, speak up. What happened? I just read your latest post, the one about loving the unlovable and shit. And I didn't like it. Just fucking didn't like it. I just didn't understand why you had to debase yourself?

-Did I debase myself? 

-You sure did. You wrote about your being called an idiot while you are only a moron and that you are "delighted, grateful, and even ecstatic" that your wife has not left you. You made me sick.

-Calm down. You should know I was just speaking in a metaphorical manner.

-Metaphorical, my ass! Sounded very real and literal to me. 

-Did it really?

-Yes, it sure did.

-Sorry!

-Sorry? One thing I didn't understand was why you had to lie. Why didn't you speak the truths and facts like you always preach to me?

-What facts and truths?

-Goddamit! Roberto, stop being coy with me.

-I honestly don't know what's the fuck you're speaking about.

-Okay. Unless you fed me a bunch of bullshit before, I couldn't understand why you didn't speak about your amorous accomplishments instead of being "unlovable" and all that shit.

-But I didn't want to brag!

-Now you're telling me. But you did brag with me!

-But you're a friend. It was bad form, especially in a mixed company, to talk about my being a Don Juan, a magnet to women. I didn't want to talk about women of all ages, falling for me, left and right, day and night , because of my charms and magnetic personality and easy, pleasing manners, not to mention my drop-dead, gorgeous physique which gets better with each passing week. 

-What's going on with that Vicky, the one you met in a poker room? Is she still after you?

-She sure is. She just invited me over to her house again and cooked for me a marvelous four-course meal, complete with dessert and after-dinner drinks. 

-That was all? 

-Should there be more? 

-You tell me!

-No, a gentleman never kisses and tells.

-Okay. I can't force you to do what you don't want to do. Sorry for yelling at you. You know that I care, right?

-It's okay. I understand.

-But do you also understand that I more than care?

-Please, don't go there. I can't handle it. 

-One more thing and I'll let you go. What's the fuck with that asshole whose forebears you intimated that they appeared of having committed horrible, shameful acts of bestiality with horses and buffaloes because he now looks so much like an ass whose language is full of self-righteous lies and replete with disgusting references to human female genitalia in clear and full spelling.

-The asshole is indeed an offspring of cross-species transgressions all right. Thst's why the mothefucker has no sense of shame. He is stupid and shamefully ignorant and wrecked by inferiority complex. He has no honor at all. He brazenly lies about me all the time. Let me tell you something. There's a thing called karma. Tragedies are befalling his goddammned, cursed family left and right. Every time I heard about it, I went to a bar and quietly savored my beer while contemplating about karma and the evils in this world. The motherfucker, for sure, will rot someday in some forsaken corner of a poorly funded hospice, dying of some horrible disease brought on by his own sins and misdeeds as well as the sins and misdeeds of his forefathers. I understand he's a stupid Christisn convert, so I know he thinks he will be "saved" and all that shit. What's a fucking joke!

-Loving the Unlovable

Eric Segal says love means never say you are sorry. Siddartha Gautama says we must love one another as Love heals and transforms while Hate reinforces and perpetuates the status quo. A wise friend of mine says Love means you love those who need love the most, i.e., the unlovable. Love does not mean much if we only choose to love the lovable. I am only an ordinary, unwise, immature human so I am only capable of loving those who are lovable. I religiously stay away from the spiritually leprous and the unlovable. 

Yesterday, somebody called me an idiot. I politely told him, "please call me by my true name, I am only a moron". Seven other persons at the table, where I was at, burst out laughing. He then said I didn't know how to speak English. I quietly asked him for a financial contest of English vocabulary. Each contestant puts up ten words, asking the other guy for spelling and definition. Online dictionary on the smartphone would be the judge. Who scores the most correct answers would be the winner. Each word would be worth $10. Predictably, he backed down and kept his mouth shut. But at least that guy, though full of puffery, had enough common sense to shut his mouth when realizing he met his superiors. Another dude whom I know quite well, is so fond of bestial imagery--- especially that of horses and water buffaloes, when dishing out insults---that makes me often wonder if his forebears had lived closely among horses and water buffaloes or even committed acts of bestiality with these poor animals. This dude doesn't have common sense so he doesn't know to shut his mouth up. He does not know (from pitiful, pathetic lack of self-awareness) the more he talks, the more he reveals his stupidity, his ignorance, and his bestial background. 

I have a lot of shortcomings, but I fancy that I have a modicum of self-awareness. I know I am unlovable. That's why I am thrilled to have Bác Tiếp and Bác Trác consider me as a friend. More importantly, I am delighted, grateful, even ecstatic, that my wife has not said goodbye to me. 

I am trying very hard to be affable like Messrs. Tiep and Trac. Maybe I should take Buddha's words more to heart. Maybe I should open my heart to those who don't know how to shut up since I am the one who don't know how to shut up either. 

Postcriptum:

A not-so-secret and quite ardent fan of mine religiously follows my blog although she lives way up in Fairbanks and has not actually met me in person though she has seen my photos (I am a very vain man. Vanity has its own advantages. It has forced me to hit the gym and the books. Besides, I am not bad in the looks department, either. Okay, now, you know that I love to brag. My mantra is that a man has got to be his most ardent fan. To me, a man, especially an insecure one like me, must be allowed--in fact, must be encouraged---to brag from sunrise to sunset [other time periods are for rest and recuperation]. Bragging is good for the soul. It brings a smile---sometimes even laughs, and along with them a lọt of much needed oxygen into the system---to the braggart, helping him to look cheerful and happy, even if inside, he's dying of loneliness and wrecked by insecurity and self-doubt.) called me up and we had the following conversation. I'm going to recollect it as much as I can.

-Roberto, mi querido, que' paso'?

-Nada. 

-Bollocks! Dime la verdad. Que' paso'? Goddamit, speak up. What happened? I just read your latest post, the one about loving the unlovable and shit. And I didn't like it. Just fucking didn't like it. I just didn't understand why you had to debase yourself?

-Did I debase yourself? 

-You sure did. You wrote about your being called an idiot while you are only a moron and that you are "delighted, grateful, and even ecstatic" that your wife has not left you. You made me sick.

-Calm down. You should know I was just speaking in a metaphorical manner.

-Metaphorical, my ass! Sounded very real and literal to me. 

-Did it really?

-Yes, it sure did.

-Sorry!

-Sorry? One thing I didn't understand why you had to lie. Why didn't you speak the truths and facts like you always preach to me?

-What facts and truths?

-Goddamnit! Roberto, stop being coy with me.

-I honestly don't know what's the fuck you're speaking about.

-Okay. Unless you fed me a bunch of bullshit before, I couldn't understand why you didn't speak about your amorous accomplishments instead of being "unlovable" and all that shit.

-But I didn't want to brag!

-Now you're telling me. But you did brag with me!

-But you're a friend. It was bad form, especially in a mixed company, to talk about my being a Don Juan, a magnet to women. I didn't want to talk about women of all ages, falling for me, left and right, day and night , because of my charms and magnetic personality and easy, pleasing manners, not to mention my drop-dead, gorgeous physique which gets better with each passing week. 

-What's going on with that Vicky, the one you met in a poker room? Is she still after you?

-She sure is. She just invited me over to her house again and cooked for me a marvelous meal, complete with dessert and after-dinner drinks. 

-That was all? 

-Should there be more? 

-You tell me!

-No, a gentleman never kisses and tells.

-Okay. I can't force you to do what you don't want to do. Sorry for yelling at you. You know that I care, right?

-It's okay. I understand.

-But do you also understand that I more than care?

-Please, don't go there. I can't handle it. 

-One more thing and I'll let you go. What's the fuck with that asshole whose forebears you intimated that they appeared of having committed horrible, shameful acts of bestiality with horses and buffaloes because he now looks so much like an ass whose language is full of self-righteous lies and replete with disgusting references to human female genitalia in clear and full spelling? 

-The asshole is indeed an offspring of cross-species transgressions all right. Thst's why the mothefucker has no sense of shame. He is stupid and shamefully ignorant and wrecked by inferiority complex. He has no honor at all. He brazenly lies about me all the time. Let me tell you something. There's a thing called karma. Tragedies are befalling his goddammned, cursed family left and right. Every time I heard about it, I went to a bar and quietly savored my beer while contemplating about karma and the evils in this world. The motherfucker, for sure, will rot someday in some forsaken corner of a poorly funded hospice, dying of some horrible disease brought on by his own sins and misdeeds as well as the sins and misdeeds of his forefathers. I understand he's a stupid Christisn convert, so I know he thinks he will be "saved" and all that shit. What's a fucking joke!

- But Roberto, don't you think it's time for you to practice what you have preached to me? I see that the motherfucker is toxic to your soul. Just forgive him. Love him even, like a stupid, ignorant, self-righteous little prick that he is. Assholes never grow up. That's why they're assholes. How we react to events and assholes reveal to who we are. You're much better than you sound. You can think. Assholes cannot. So why do you hate them so much?

-Hate is an emotional, strong word. I don't really know if I really hate them as much as I despise them. You see, believe it or not, I have a nagging fear that deep down I may not be able to conduct myself as a real human with rational and moral faculties intact, instead of as a disgusting, filthy animal with only bestial tendencies. We hate those who remind us what we fear we might be. The asshole motherfucker reminds me what I may end up looking and being like, if I am not careful: a human from the outside but only an ass in feelings and conduct.

-But Roberto, life is a race against oblivion. Time is precious. Please, darling, don't squander your resources on assholes and scumbags. Start living. You don't have much time left. .

(To be continued)

(To be continued)

Love and Brotherhood

Yes, Love (and its usual manifestation, Forgiveness) heals and transforms the persons and situation involved whereas Hate reinforces and perpetuates the status quo. Siddartha Gautama profoundly understood this dynamics and advised his followers to abjure hate and violence. 

Muhammad understood it, too, contrary to the stereotyped portrayal of him and his followers by those Christians and Zionists who have an obvious agenda. In fact, the concept of Mercy features strongly in the Qur'an. It was Muhammad's practice of Mercy that accounted largely for the mass conversions in the early days of Islam. Only after two Jewish tribes treacherously allied themselves with other Arab tribes with the intention of killing Muhammad and his followers, despite their agreeing to a special covenant with Muhammad not to take arms against him, did Muhammad order the surviving adult male members put to the sword after their ill-fated alliance with the like-minded Arab tribes ended in abject failure in the battlefield. After this treachery of the Jews, Muhammad stopped praying in the direction of Jerusalem (as an acknowledgement of his intellectual debt and his beliefs in the Old Testament) and turned to the direction of Mecca, his birthplace, instead. 

Fairly or not, this attempt on the life of Muhammad by the Jews and their complicity in the death of Jesus of Nazareth, as well as the daily conduct of most Jews, that earned them the enmity of Muslims and Christians. Anti-Semitism did not just arise out of thin air. 

For those who really want to understood Love and Brotherhood, Islam could be an answer. The ideology and brutal behavior of present Islamic extremists do not represent mainstream Islam, just like the ideology and behavior of the Crusaders during the Middle Ages, of the Nazis and the Japanese fascists during first half of the 20th century, do not represent mainstream Christianity and Buddhism.  

If I am not a diehard atheist, I would embrace Islam in a heartbeat. As much as I love its powerful message of Love and Brotherhood, I couldn't bring myself to accepting its nonsensical doctrinal copy of Judaism and Christianity. I don't believe in God, in Judgment Day, and in an afterlife. I only believe in this very life, the only life I ever have; in Love's healing and redemptive power; in fair play and karma; and in my ability to pursue facts and truths. 

Yes, sometimes certain painful memories come back and remind me of my youthful immaturity and impetuosity, but I don't regret for falling in love with certain women who turned out to be even less loving and kind-hearted than me. I made mistakes and I sm learning from them. I was stupid and not a keen reader of the human heart. 

Love is Love. One must keep on kissing a lot of frogs before finding a prince. Yes, like Desiderata says, Love is perennial as grass. Despite the heartaches and pains and disappointments it may bring, it is the thing that keeps us going in this hard, lonely world. I believe in Love and continue looking for it. My heart is always open for its possibilities. Yes, I agreed with the message delivered by both Siddhartha and Muhammad. 

Mental Illness and Psychiatry

Preface:

The following were words previously used in an exchange with a nice, gentle, but touchy and overly defensive individual. Nobody is perfect, I know that. But I take pride in pursuing facts and truths to the bitter end. That's why I have nothing but contempt and bitterness for an unaccomplished and impecunious bitch who opened its mouth and barked intemperate and false characterization of me. But I have to admit that without that stupid and false characterization, I would not know its true character. 

My words below clearly demonstrate who I am and how I regard myself. Fuck, as Nietzsche himself said, "I am no mere man. I am a dynamite". The more I live and improve my mind, the more I realize most humans are cowardly and fearful of ugly truths about themselves. Not me. Not me. Never ever. Not in a million years.

1. If my intention was nitpicking about grammar and spelling, I would have a field day and come across completely obnoxious due to my obstreperous behavior. I routinely make those mistakes myself. Sorry if my words drove certain folks who are averse to facts and truths to the edge of uneasiness, but words relating to concepts are important and must be used with care. 

2. The distinction about a "mental disorder" having a medical, organic (brain) or behavioral root is important but not always recognized. 

2.a. If a mental disorder manifesting itself in socially unacceptable behaviors originates from the brain's disease or injury, then even a psychiatrist might not be of effective help. A neuro scientist should be consulted in this case.

2.b. If a mental disorder having behavioral roots (granted, there's a constant feedback back and forth between brain and behavior), then a question should be raised concerning if the manifested socially unacceptable behaviors come from the environment (being taught or exposed) or the individual himself has poor adaptive skills. Poor adaptive skills themselves derive from low intelligence, lack of awareness (including self-awareness) or failure to transcend common emotional and social afflictions that almost all humans fall prey to. These afflictions are but not restricted (not exhaustive of) to : ego, pride (not as bad as ego, and indeed can be beneficial if properly harnessed), greed, power, fame (desire to be approved and recognized), instant gratification (and its twin sister, unmet expectations), selfishness, vengeance, self-projection, displacement, and destruction (including self-destruction). Help can be sought from talk therapy (hence psychologists and psychotherapists) and examples set by more enlightened humans and teachers (hence the trend of flocking to "gurus" and "masters" who supposedly have answers as to why the affected individuals are not happy, dissatisfied, and have anti-social thoughts and even behaviors). Psychiatrists, if they are not sensitive, empathetic, and sympathetic, are not needed in this instance. The reason why affected individuals rush to (or are being rushed to) see psychiatrists is because psychiatrists have medical training and can prescribe drugs in addition to the unwarranted respect and trust the society has for psychiatrists. The recent books exposing the inadequacies of psychiatry and the reclassification of certain behavioral disorders (autism, Asperger's syndrome) should be a sobering reminder that blind faith in medical "knowledge" can be dangerous. 

3. Loneliness and aversion to facts and truths can be devastating if not properly addressed by the affected individuals. 

4. Psychiatrists are overrated and usually mis-employed.