"....Cherry, you don't have to tell me, I know what I'm doing. I'm treading on dangerous terrain and skirting on the edges of insanity. Everything has a price. To dance with the devil is to trade excitement and knowledge for potential eternal anguish. But I'm emotionally and intellectually curious so I don't mind taking a leap of faith into the unknown.
Maybe I'm hasty and willing to take you at face value. I've a tendency to do that with the people I just met. I formed rapid assessments based on impressionistic situations and traits of character. I'm not cautious and prudent enough. But on the other hand, I believe my judgment has gotten better with age and my intuition traditionally has been quite unerring. I wish I had heeded more the whispers and murmurs of my intuition. I would be much wealthier and happier, though not wiser. So, now I rely more on intuition than intellect in my "analysis" of people. What drives me in thinking that you're a fine human is my experiencing a feeling of peace and serenity and acceptance and understanding whenever you are around. You're proud but not vain. You're good but not smug. You laugh quite too easily, however. That intrigues me quite a bit. So I need to watch you more. I used to know a woman who laughed quite readily, too. And she turned out to be a bitchy liar. I'm not saying you might be like her. I know you are an honest woman. In fact, it was your honesty that attracted me in the first place. And do you know that you were the impetus for the recent two stories and two poems that I wrote while being bewitched and enthralled by your being. So, if for nothing else, I will have those "literary" productions to look at while dreaming about you.
I have a crazy feeling that you and I are very much alike. We make indelible impressions on people. We leave our footprints on their minds, if not their hearts. You certainly did on both my heart and mind. I have not been quite the same since I met you. I've come to believe that in order for me to get through the fog of war within myself I need to have faith in the ability of humans to surprise even themselves. In other words, to live authentically and to the brim is to learn to unlock the hardest hearts, especially our own. I'm unlocking mine. I hope you're unlocking yours.
I read somewhere that we must understand our own mind and our own predisposition and propensity for arrogance and puffed-up pride. We must be eternally aware that it is Ego, if not properly tamed, that will thwart our attainment of enlightenment and happiness
Cherry, I recently came to realize that you are a moral elevation to me. Somewhere in my mind a soft but persistent voice is telling me that I am into something rare, something good. By chance or by providence, I came to know about Ginkgo tree, a species having wondrous mythical properties, one of which is durability and hence symbolic for everlasting friendship and love. Love is just friendship caught fire. Before two persons can be lovers, they must be friends first. I know I am a friend of yours. I hope you are one of mine. There are times in life we must seize the day, seize the moment when everything is in perfect alignment, and open ourselves to possibilities. I firmly think that one of the reasons why we read and even write stories is to expand our experiences and enhance our consciousness. We step outside of ourselves and get into the minds and souls of others.
The beauty and magic of friendship is to realize that we need others and others need us. Our existence is thus less lonely and less precarious. We feel safer and understood in the company of friends. I just came back from the emergency room of a veterans medical facility. A friend of mine, an American veteran of the Vietnam War, called me up while I was sleeping and complained that he was not feeling well and he needed me to drive him to the VA hospital. He could have called a taxi or his adopted daughter but he called me instead, because he was much more comfortable in calling me, he explained, since I lived only half a mile away. He felt much more relaxed and at ease in my presence, he further explained on the way to the hospital. He divulged that he passed out for a few minutes after taking a shower. He had had chest pains for several days, he added. By the way, his blood pressure was 97/57 and the pulse rate was 37, he sheepishly and softly elaborated, and then promptly fell into a deep sleep. His head leaned over to the left side while snoring loudly. His snoring told me he was still alive. The seat belt held his upper body firmly in the seat. He could hardly walk when I drove up to the hospital. I told him to wait in the car while rushing inside to search for a wheel chair. The time was around three in the morning.
The emergency staff later told me Bob should have gone to the hospital right away when he experienced chest pains. He was in mortal danger when I wheeled him in because he hardly had any pulse and his blood pressure plummeted. But he was okay now and he would be kept in the hospital for a few days, I was told.
This was not the first time I took Bob to an emergency room. I had done so twice before. Bob kept drinking and smoking despite having a heart problem. The guy obviously had a death wish. I kept telling him that he must find a reason to live. Dying is easy. Living is not, since we must deal with pain and disappointment, but still, we must find/invent a meaning for our existence. He kept silent while listening to my exhortations. Then he invariably said, "Roberto, I really appreciate your friendship." Bob is a die-hard Republican Christian who hates Obama, and believes everything in the Bible, and whose only source of information is Fox "News" while I am a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat liberal and atheist who reads and thinks and lives philosophy. But Bob and I are close friends because we were born two days apart and are both honest and true to our word, except when we are dreaming.
Cherry, I think you, too, are honest and true to your word, not to mention kind and generous. That's why I've been attracted to you. This letter is long enough. I need to get some rest. I will think of you during my sleep.
Roberto Wissai
November 30, 2014
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