Asshole's Complaint

Where is Portnoy when I need him? I need him to show the ignorant, linguistically impaired and stupid and self-righteous asshole how to lodge a complaint. In a way, I feel sorry for the asshole as he is imprisoned, unwittingly of course, by ignorance and stupidity. He's purely a human chimp, but deludedly thinks he is genuinely human. He does not know he's not human enough. He is not the only asshole suffering from the delusion. All assholes have the same fate. That's why they're adsholes to begin with. Human chimps are not smart or sensitive enough. They think they are, but actually they are not. That lack of self-awareness is their tragedy.