Late Blooming

Làte Blooming:

Just when others hit retirement age and begin coasting to the grave, you suddenly are exploding with creativity and insights. You see interconnections. You put things together. You feel like in your 30's with boundless energy. You believe in yourself. You have confidence. You started reading philosophy in earnest. You become a serious thinker and have intimations that perhaps you are really different from most others. You want to establish a fundamental, really meaningful reason to live. Work and Creation are beginning to give you identity. They are defining you. 

You have not quite got over how Lund/VAW falsely viewed herself. The woman is really a self-deceiving animal, doing anything just to survive although her life looks like a long stretch of barrenness and boredom. If you were like her, you undoubtedly would put an end to such an insipid, boring, insignificant, meaningless life. But most stupid monkeys and defective chimps and humans have lives exactly like that. They go through life, moaning and groaning and creating pain and annoyance to others around them, then they get sick and eventually die just like a piece of dry dog shit got blown away by the wind. If you want to talk about literature or Nietzsche and Wittgenstein with them, all you would get is a blank, dazed look from them. They are too insensitive and too stupid to know what's the fuck you are talking about. They don't think the subjects are important because they have nothing to do with food, sex, fame, and power. 

Take another quasi-whore you "know" about (the operative word is the preposition "about"). You just learned that the whore recently had bragged to a mutual friend that when she was in her 20's, she wanted to have sex 7, 8 times a day before she could feel satisfied. What was the fucking (pun intended) point the whore wanted to make, you wonder? That she was sexually strong? That she was a nymphomaniac? Big deal! To be good at sex is nothing to write home about or to go around boasting about it, especially if you are a woman. Some animals just don't have a sense of self-respect. Or back to the case of Lund/VAW, if you rely on charity and handouts, if you cannot be self-supporting as she is, you would not go around criticizing others as to how much money and what kind of jobs they have. At least the people whom you criticize don't beg for money as you do so they could live for another day. Do you hear me, stupid bitch whore or is it whore bitch?

On the other hand, you have been bragging that you know German. So what would you do? You are forcing yourself to hit the old German textbooks while a novel in German is prominently displayed on the dining table to remind you that one day really soon you had better know enough German to read that book. Empty bragging is despicable. Intellectual dishonesty is a turn-off. You could barely read a newspaper in German. That's about the amount of German you know. You have been busy writing essays and stupid posts in your blog to the neglect of learning languages. Now the situation is changing. You have no more scumbags and bitches to pick a fight with, you have more time to devote yourself to learning. 

Still feel like hurting somebody really bad. Still seeking refuge in languages, reading, and writing. In one's life, the past never goes away, the present is either exciting or precarious and boring, and the future is uncertain except death. 

Except for a handful of people (real philosophers and true warriors), humans generally don't have a capacity for truth,. What they often do is to lie to others and to themselves. Also, they get bent out of shape when they think their ego is hurt, and they lash out to sources of annoyance, regardless if the sources are right or not. I despise most humans because they are weak and stupid. Very few are like Wittgenstein. You cannot run away from truths. Wittgenstein was sick in the head, however. He kept talking about God and thinking about suicide constantly. But in him clearly there was a very thin line between insanity and genius. He kept crossing back and forth the line throughout his life. He could be brilliant in some narrow endeavors and then could be clearly disturbed, abnormal, and unhinged in most social situations. 

A Note to Whoever It May Apply:

Do you seriously think you are a human as developed as me in terms of  intellect, creativity, linguistic fluency, understanding of philosophy, logic, and sundry other subjects? In short, do you seriously think you have a mind as exquisite as mine? If you think you do, then you have a problem. Ditto for Lund /VAW. That was what I meant about knowing who you are and your place in this world, your genetic lottery, your drive, what you are made of. I didn't talk about any fucking serfs! I can never be a Shakespeare or an Einstein even if I live for a thousand years. I don't have it within me. You and VAW are full of self-deception and an overly inflated sense of self. All talk but no genuine desire for improvement, hence no action. Deep down you two are not intellectually agile and curious. You two touch things on the surface, but don't have the desire or the ability to dig deeper. 

Yes, truths/facts can be annoying, but they are a vehicle for growth if you can accept them. Stupid and self-deceptive "people" cannot experience growth because they are ignorant and scared of truths/facts. 

Look at your life. Are you really proud of it? Don't you want to start on a program of self-improvement in terms of looks and appearance, intellect, finance, love and charity? I threw up when both you and VAW asked me to prove that I was superior to you two and what my "accomplishments" were. The attitude of you two spoke volumes of why you are the way you are and I am the way I am. As I wrote in my blog, VAW is living on handouts and yet she had the gall to criticize my means of making money. I am self-supporting. I don't live on the kindness of others as she is doing. What a fucking, despicable, hypocritical bitch! 

( to be continued)