Ironies

The Saturday morning and afternoon were spent to make friends happy. In other words, I sacrificed my own time which could have been used to make money or rest my weary body. But then unexpectedly by 3 pm, some magical event took place. I was presented with a gift that was worth $1,000, but actually purchased for only $230. As I coolly gazed at the article placed at the table surrounded by my friends who oohed and aahed at the exquisite beauty of the article, my mind turned to all the ironies of my life and I was thankful for being blessed with luck. But then I wondered what luck really was. I used to have an obstreperous personality and that accounted for many unpleasant events in my life. Now I am wiser and more pleasant to deal with, except for certain assholes I cannot stand. And that has been bringing me more luck. What I am realizing that there are humans who persistently think they are nice folks, but they are just plainly delusional. I also think those individuals begin to have no effect on me, except a rather quaint wish that I would like to exterminate them if opportunities present themselves. If you think I am a miserable unhappy, unforgiving, revenge-obsessed son of a bitch, you are half-right. And I don't bother to explain why you are half-wrong. You would neither understand nor believe me, anyway. You would conveniently forget, as the Asshole does, that I have spent decades thinking of how to make sense of my life while knowing that in the big scheme of things, I am nothing and insignificant. Okay, I've done enough inveighing and railing against trivialities and nonsense. It's time for me to get serious with my remaining time on this planet.

Einstein once was reputed to remark that everybody is a genius of some kind, but if a fish judges its worth by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is hopelessly stupid. Think about this remark long enough and you may realize that happiness is not a state you get there by luck. It takes understanding and and knowledge of oneself and others. I'm not saying that I'm happy right now. I'm just finally realizing the world is mostly populated by liars and filthy animals which call themselves humans and I have to treat them as such.

The weather been absolutely gorgeous in the last few days. There is not a single fluff of clouds in the blue sky; temperature is hovering around low 60's with low humidity; the winds are brisk, blowing all the auto exhaust pollutants out of the valley; and I've been gloriously horny and randy and intoxicated with life. I haven't let the thoughts of any bitches and assholes disturb my psyche. Of course, if I could blow the heads off some or all of them, I would feel much better. But I know I can't have everything at once. One must enjoy life in small dosage, in whatever amount it is available. Greed is the creed of the stupid. And I am not stupid. Close, but not quite.

I've cautioned my readers more than once that they should not read my words too quickly lest they would think they really understand me. But they, especially the Asshole, wouldn't heed my advice. Armed with a meager and feeble and cursory and kindergarden level knowledge of the English language, they plunge headlong into the morass and maze of words weaved by me, and they get stuck and lost in the labyrinth of graphic symbols. And they bellow, hollow, scream, shout expressions of confusion and bewilderment while pontificating and mouthing off they understand me and my psyche.

This morning I leafed through a fancy magazine full of ads for luxury items and my mind was filled with thoughts of the nature of fashion, advertising, and simian-like traits of slavish imitation and the power of priming effect upon humans. That reminded me of the limitations of the mind of my High Priestess. Despite having a formidable intelligence and acute sensitivity, she only is at the threshold of enlightenment because of her lack of education and proper spiritual training. She has an unwarranted faith in her powers of understanding. Luckily for her, she always felt an unrelieved loneliness and that led her on a path to my door. Still, she does not quite understand me. The real world is much more complex than she has made it out to be. But that's all right. Compared to all the bitches I used to know, she is far more moralistic and spiritual. She helped me put things in perspective and deal better with my impending mortality. Every morning I sit down and tell myself that I need to be kind, understanding, and forgiving, and that I would not let memories of the bad deeds of assholes, bitches, and scumbags bother me to a point that I would pack up a gun and hunt them down because they are not worth the time and trouble for me to do so. My High Priestess keeps telling me that I am a blessed lucky son of a bitch and that I must always remember so and be happy with that, and I just must let the unpleasant memories go and be wiser next time. Life is not fun if there are no challenges, she said. She believes that all those assholes, monkeys, bitches, and scumbags are really my benefactors because they remind me that I'm made of finer stuff. She pointedly tells me that if I keep being angry at them, I am not that different from them.



(to be continued)