Personal heaven and hell

You received the following words on a Sunday Easter:

"I am sitting here on the beautiful, spring, Easter morning missing my family and grieving for an absent connection between us.  We have often shared thoughts about the questions of the heart. Feelings such as I am having now, confirm your occupation of a space in my heart.  Love is many things but it is above all a unity, a feeling of completeness-wholeness. This wholeness is the creative force found in the Universe. It is the energy that created this universe-The big bang.

Birth and the love symbolize this creativity, this mystery. That is why you grieve for a baby boy that you never held or saw. There is forever a breach in your personal heaven – a gap -- a hell.  

We all have our personal heavens and hells. Heavens and hells are part of our story. Stories are the explanations of the cosmos or space around us. That is why cultures and peoples have similar traditions. The world is what it is. This energy or force has been felt and is observed since the beginning. This force or energy is the beginning. New beginnings, new birth, new creation is the renewal of this cycle-- spring, summer, fall, and winter, continue.

 Easter’s stories and symbols are stories that are glimpses of the Universe – Many condemn the spring or Easter symbols believing that their story is the true story. Have they bothered to contemplate or to learn the stories that came before the ones that they are sharing, telling and teaching? It is the same story just different words with assorted connotations and associations.

Spring is part of the cycle of life-of creation.

As human beings find the baskets, filled with eggs and candy, left by the Easter Bunny and/or gaze up at a cross do they realize these events are symbols or characters of the same story- a story that is acted out in front of their eyes and hearts for them to observe and listen to? We are all a part of this chronicle and a part of one another."

You wrote back:

"Funny you wrote about love and life and stories of creation and rebirth. I have chased after love all my life. Now I am in the twilight of my life, I must confess that I don't know what love is or means anymore. When I was much younger, I fancied that I knew what love was. Talking about heaven and hell, that reminded a story by JD Salinger entitled "For Esmee--With Love and Squalor". Like all
Salinger's stories, it was beautifully crafted and written. In the story, there was a definition of hell, which I think attributed to Dostoyevsky, : hell is the inability to love. If that is true, I've been in hell for a long time. I've seen people talking a good game of love, but on closer examination, it just turned out they were talking the love they have for themselves: self-love and selfishness. That didn't negate what you have been laboring on the issue of copyright. There must be some kind of live there.

Also, talking about stories of birth and creation and renewal, all my words are a reflection of my attempts of creation and of seeking validation and affirmation of my worth and values. The more I know about humans, the more I realize I don't know the depths of their depravity. Granted, there are a few humans who have inspired me for their nobility and courage. These people are very rare. It seems to me most humans I've run into are cowards, douche bags, and anal orifices, also known as assholes."