Roberto's Dialogues

The following is one of those recorded conversations Roberto had with his bosom buddy, Silvio (yes, with an i after s, not y, as some self-appointed "scholar" is prone of spelling although he has implied that he "knows" Italian). The dialogues lack the elegance, philosophical depth, and literary quality found in Plato's Dialogues. In fact, they are the antithesis of Plato's, but the scrivener of the conversations is brazen enough to plan to have them self-published around Ramadan next year. Without further ado, let's see what Roberto and Silvio talked about.

Roberto: Hey, yo, some dude called me narrow-minded and unsophisticated in my observations and reasoning. Do you think the "gentleman" was right in his assessment?

Silvio: Unsophisticated, yes, but I'm not sure about narrow-minded since it doesn't go well with observations and reasoning. But he was being charitable. He could have said you were ignorant, uninformed, sophistical, hypocritical, cowardly, mendacious, unreliable, pompous, and self-important son of a bitch. Just because you got some graduate training, you fancy yourself that you are an intellectual, but frankly, outside of your area of expertise and general animal cunning, you don't know jack shit about anything. I am the only friend you have. And we've had many conversations. I know you! Now tell me, did you say anything back to him?

Roberto: As I told you, I've "changed" since I had a chance encounter with a charming, gracious movie star. The encounter forced me to go through a process of self-examination and I came up with a conclusion that I needed to emulate his wonderful disposition and personality. So I just sucked it up. I did chuckle, chortle, crackle, and roll over the floor from laughing. Then I went to a bathroom, had a big dump, and also threw up.

Silvio: Please spare me of the graphic description of your malodorous activities in the bathroom. I read last night that you disputed the assertion of another gentleman who said that the World Series of Poker Tournament, Main Event $10,000 entry fee, open to all interested players from all the world only returned 12% of the collected purse as prizes. Do you have additional info to back up your disagreement since you pride yourself as a lover of facts, unlike so many dudes who love to make half-assed statements?

Roberto: I certainly do. The total prize pool is $68.8 million (out of $73.2 entry fees collected, so you could see the payout far exceeds 12% alleged by the gentleman), the final 9 players  alone will be paid $27.54 million. The first 730 (estimated) players get paid out of a total 7,319 players. ESPN will pre-empt SportsCenter on Nov.9 to televise its two-hour coverage of the final table. Also, the network will broadcast all the action from the final table live---without showing the hole cards---on its ESPN3 broadband network. The event has been enjoying surging popularity since 2003 when an accountant named Chris Moneymaker (real name) parlayed $55 (or so) initial investment to win the first prize.


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