I was going out. I deserved it. I’d had lunch — one Diet Coke, two Marlboro Lights and a Chef’s Signature Lean Cuisine. I’d even done two luxurious miles in 24 minutes on the treadmill at the gym down the block. My stomach growled, angry for being empty, but I felt thin and attractive. There’s nothing more dangerous than a girl who feels thin and attractive.I hailed a cab to Union Hall in south Park Slope. It was warm for late October. I was meeting friends. The top floor of Union Hall has fireplaces, leather couches, an indoor bocce court and a library with actual books, where pseudo intellectuals discussed the same three writers (Hemingway, Kerouac, Salinger) between Jaeger bombs. Wrinkle-free gingham button-downs, Wayfarers even though it was dark, boat shoes because we were close to the Gowanus. These guys all went to honorary Ivies and had entry levels at their dads’ companies. The suit factory can produce a fun night. Just don’t expect them to go Dutch on your Plan B.The line to the bar was long, so when I arrived I ordered two Jack and Diets for myself. The best investment you’ll ever make is a large tip on your first drink.I made my way downstairs. My favorite kind of dance floor is so dark and crowded that no one notices that I can’t dance, and this was that. I swayed to the beat without spilling either drink (talent) and scanned the crowd.Once I had a few (eight) drinks in me I had no use for the friends I came with. I talked to them all the time. I knew their deal. Whiskey made the world a warm hug. Everything and everyone was nice. Addiction, pollution, violence — these were things to worry about tomorrow.I pushed away some young thugs wearing flat brims who were coming on stronger than my drink. It was clear they were working me together. Two guys? Maybe, but these were not my type. The night was just starting. It was too early to lower my expectations.I walked back upstairs and outside to the patio and lit up. I saw him. He was standing alone with a beer, smoking. He was looking at his phone, the way you look at your phone when you have no one to talk to. It was easier to pick a guy up when they were separate from their bro herd.“Hey, I’m Jessica. What’s that monkey doing on your glass?”He had a little toy monkey hanging off the side of his pint. “It was trivia night,” he smiled.The next two hours were a blur. So let’s call him Rick. He worked at an app. Everyone worked at an app. Liquor before beer or beer before liquor? I couldn’t remember which one was supposed to come first so I just went back and forth.We were smoking again, out on the patio. My self-confidence was directly proportionate to my blood-alcohol level. I was Kate Moss. I pulled a bar stool between us. “Let’s arm wrestle,” I said. A command, not a question.“Uhh, I don’t know. I bench 220. I was a high school quarterback …” he backpedaled.“Stop making excuses,” I said.We knelt down on the cement and put up our arms on the small uneven surface of the bar stool. He won the first round. We went left the second round.“You’re letting me win,” I said. He just laughed. “Come on, arm wrestle me for real. Don’t be a girl!”We went right again. My arm snapped in half. Rick had broken my humerus in two, a clean fracture. I bent my arm 90 degrees and watched my arm leave my arm. I took my left hand and held the two pieces of my right arm together. “Oh my God,” he said. He was freaking out. “Go close my tab and get us a cab. We’re going to the E.R.,” I said. Cool as a cucumber.The E.R. at New York Methodist was empty. The doctors on duty could not care less about a drunk girl with a broken arm. The scrubs played Candy Crush below “No Cellphone” signs and passed around a box of Entenmann’s. A nurse with powdered sugar on her lips reluctantly signed me in and ushered me to the waiting room.Rick filled out my paperwork. We were alone in the waiting room except for a man who looked to be homeless curled up in a chair, sleeping like a baby. Still, it wasn’t the weirdest first date I had ever had.A doctor finally came over. He had my same last name and first initial. My drunk had unfortunately mellowed but I still found this hilarious and proceeded to act as though we were kin. Blood is thicker than water, which is thinner than whiskey. “I need your urine sample to confirm a negative pregnancy result before we can give you an X-ray. Here’s a cup.”“Thanks Dr. Caldwell, but I can’t move my arms so I’m not sure how I’ll undo my jeans and aim in that cup. Is there like a nurse on duty? Who can help me?” Dr. Caldwell said “Yeah” and walked back to the front desk with the slowest gait I had ever seen. If he was walking any slower he would have fallen over. A half hour passed and no one came to help me.Rick and I enjoyed typical first date chatter. What’s your favorite color? Food? College major? If you could bring only three things out of your burning apartment… He stood up. “This is ridiculous, let’s go!” he said, as he led me to the bathroom. Rick proceeded to take my urine sample, which did make this the weirdest first date I’d ever had. He unbuttoned my jeans. “Well this is happening sooner than I thought it would.” “Yeah right!” I said.I squatted and my cup runneth over: 12 drinks poured out of me. We laughed. God, he was cute. I really liked this guy. We returned to the waiting room. The homeless guy was gone. Where did he go? We were quiet for a minute while we waited to see what would happen next. Anything is possible in the time warp of an emergency room.“Can I get you anything?” he asked.“Please just don’t leave me,” I said. I was suddenly serious and worried he would. They always left.“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Let’s go smoke a cigarette.” I was in love.We left the E.R. at 5 a.m. with a plaster cast and Percocet (guaranteed Sunday Funday). Rick hailed a cab. “What do you wanna do?” he asked.“Can I go home with you?” I said. “I just don’t want to be alone.” It was impossible to hide my desperation.“Yeah, of course.”We went back to his one bedroom in Brooklyn Heights. He had a pet turtle named Biggie Smalls, a fridge stocked with Trader Joe’s, and premium cable. Cozy. We smoked again out the window. He helped me undress in slow motion, like a child. I wrapped my cast in a plastic shopping bag. We took a hot shower and saved the Percs for later. He washed my hair and it felt really, really good.He gave me a brand new toothbrush. Normally this would be a red flag, a sign of a seasoned player, but he had just been to the dentist, her name was printed in bold. I lay on his bed, on my back, some pillows propped under my head. I clutched my right arm with my left, holding it close as if someone was trying to steal it.Jessica Caldwell is an independent film producer, and a writers’ room assistant on the Showtime series, “Billions.”
Forty years ago this month, after a long, deadly release of flatulence from American politicians, the United States evacuated its personnel from Saigon in an operation appropriately code-named Frequent Wind. Whether you were alive then or not, the images of those panicked Vietnamese crushing the U.S. Embassy are tattooed on our collective consciousness.
In the opening pages of Viet Thanh Nguyen’s extraordinary first novel, “The Sympathizer,” that terror feels so real that you’ll mistake your beating heart for helicopter blades thumping the air. Nguyen brings us right inside the barbed-wire-encircled home of a South Vietnamese general just waking from his faith in American resilience. Thrashing all around him, officers and cronies are bargaining for survival: Who will get out? Who will be left to the hands of their inexorable enemy?
The General doesn’t know it, but the captain he’s put in charge of those decisions is, in fact, a Viet Cong spy. “Every stroke of my pen through a name felt like a death sentence,” says this unnamed narrator, who has burrowed deep into the General’s confidence. “I could not help but feel moved by the plight of these poor people. Perhaps it was not correct, politically speaking, for me to feel sympathy for them, but my mother would have been one of them if she were alive.”
Over the next 350 pages, that conflicted whisper draws us through what is surely a new classic of war fiction. Nguyen, who was born in Vietnam and raised in the United States, has wrapped a cerebral thriller around a desperate expat story that confronts the existential dilemmas of our age. Startlingly insightful and perilously candid, the narration comes to us as a confession written and rewritten many times in an isolation cell. The imprisoned captain recalls fleeing with the South Vietnamese general and insinuating himself into the refugee community that settles around Los Angeles. There, he continues spying on the restless warriors as they plot a quixotic plan to liberate their homeland from the communists.
Given that explosive opening scene strafed with bullets and punctuated by bombs, the rest of the novel should feel comparatively tepid, but it never does because the captain’s serpentine voice is so hypnotic and the events he relates are so captivating. A careful student of American literature with a well-tuned ear for pathos, irony and the rhythms of English, he’s just as adept with a Roth-inspired comic scene of self-abuse as he is with a gorgeous Whitmanian catalogue of suffering. His captors want a confession written in the well-worn phrases of ideological purity, but he resists on stylistic grounds raised to the level of moral imperative: “It seemed as much of a crime to commit a cliche to paper as to kill a man.”
It’s the captain’s special burden that the quality that makes him such an effective spy — namely, his boundless sympathy — is the same quality that infects him with guilt. As an observer, he’s brilliant; as an assassin, he’s hobbled. “They were my enemies,” he says of the men he is regularly betraying, “and yet they were also brothers in arms.”
Once in California and relieved from the exigencies of war, he turns his incisive wit on American culture and its cheery racism. Sometimes, he poses as an innocent abroad, as when he watches “The Jeffersons,” “a TV comedy about the unacknowledged black descendants of Thomas Jefferson, America’s third president and the author of the Declaration of Independence.” But usually, he’s more direct. “Although every country thought itself superior in its own way,” he asks rhetorically, “was there ever a country that coined so many ‘super’ terms from the federal bank of its narcissism, was not only superconfident but also truly superpowerful, that would not be satisfied until it locked every nation of the world into a full nelson and made it cry Uncle Sam?”
A right-wing congressman courting the exiled South Vietnamese military comes in for some exquisite satire, but the novel’s most complex comedy and cultural criticism stem from the captain’s work on a Hollywood movie called “The Hamlet.” Hired as “the technical consultant in charge of authenticity,” our genial narrator quickly finds himself enslaved in the Philippines on a project you’ll recognize (“Apocalypse Now”). As funny as it is tragic, this section alone could carry the whole novel. (The Thespian — clearly Marlon Brando — makes a hilarious, reeking cameo before his much re-filmed death scene in which he groans, “The whore! The whore!”)
“The Sympathizer” is laced with insight on the ways nonwhite people are rendered invisible in the propaganda that passes for our pop culture. In Nguyen’s version, the Francis Ford Coppola character is not just a monumental ass, he’s also a latent racist determined to make a film that pretends to mourn America’s struggle, but in fact reinscribes its grandiose purity. “The Movie was just a sequel to our war and a prequel to the next one that America was destined to wage,” the captain laments. “Killing the extras was either a reenactment of what had happened to us natives or a dress rehearsal for the next such episode, with the Movie the local anesthetic applied to the American mind, preparing it for any minor irritation before or after such a deed.” With its cinematic explosions, abuses and killings, this deconstructive portrayal of the Academy Award-winning classic provides a bracing dramatization of the way American hegemony and romanticism are encoded in our most popular export.
But then Nguyen turns the screw another rotation, and the grotesque scenes in the Auteur’s movie lead into an extended examination of torture in real life. Yes, there are gang rapes and slow electrocutions and all the other ghastly tools of the trade here, but what’s particularly striking is the way Nguyen concentrates on that species of psychological abuse that our creative lawyers contorted into legal shapes during the Iraq war. I haven’t read anything since Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four” that illustrates so palpably how a patient tyrant, unmoored from all humane constraint, can reduce a man’s mind to liquid.
The contemporary relevance of this devastating final section can’t be ignored, but “The Sympathizer” is too great a novel to feel bound to our current soul-searching about the morality of torture. And it’s even more than a thoughtful reflection about our misguided errand in Southeast Asia. Transcending these historical moments, Nguyen plumbs the loneliness of human life, the costs of fraternity and the tragic limits of our sympathy.
Charles is the editor of Book World. You can follow him on Twitter @RonCharles.
On May 6 at 7 p.m., Viet Thanh Nguyen will be at Politics and Prose Bookstore, 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW.
THE SYMPATHIZER
By Viet Thanh Nguyen
Grove. 371 pp. $26

















