Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Humans and Language Redux and Expanded

Humans and Language Redux and Expanded

The following are notes, mostly verbatim, taken from my recent reading about language, mixed with my observations and reactions ---some are of decidedly personal nature--about language development and second-language acquisition. The notes were initially intended for my own reference and use, and not for publication, thus references are mostly missing. However, interested readers are encouraged to go to the reference section at the end of the notes for further reading and verification. Such readers are also welcome to write to me. 

Have you ever wondered and marveled at a spectacle of a political or religious speaker standing on a platform, addressing tens or even hundreds of thousands of spectators who listened in rapt attention and silence, except for occasional thunderous echoing of certain words or slogans used by the speaker (Nazi gatherings where Hitler kept his audience spell-bound; similarly, Khomeini held the Iranian Shiites in rapture. Given all the talks about individualism in men, humans are herd animals and easily manipulated), a spectacle only occurs among humans, and no where else in the animal kingdom? I do. Such a spectacle takes place only among humans because only humans possess language, which is much more than an animal communication system (ACS) utilized by lesser organisms. 

After tackling all kinds of intellectual (not social, unfortunately) problems and issues, humans finally are turning to the area which is near and dear and familiar, and yet far from being understood: language. Language is not the same as linguistics. Philosophers in the Anglo-American world examined language as a philosophical issue in the first half of the 20th century. Then an Austrian engineer turned philosopher Wittgenstein, student of Bertrand Russell, devoted his formidable intellectual powers to it, gaining fame and admiration for his efforts.I  tried to read these philosophers (Russell, Ayers, Wittgenstein) and didn't understand a thing. But the subject remains intriguing to me, a student of several languages, a talker, a writer wannabe , a jokester, a punster, a student of the human brain, and a seeker of facts and truths. 

Recently psychologists, linguists, and cognitive scientists are trying to speculate on the origin of language. Derek Bickerton's book "Adam's Tongue" was an effort in that direction. The following are notes taken verbatim from the book for my own reference.

Speech and language are not synonymous. 

You can have speech without it meaning a thing; lots of parrots do. Speech is just a vehicle for language. So is structured manual sign of the American Sign Language. 

Language evolution is part of human evolution. Language origin is considered "the hardest problem in science" because language leaves no fossils. 

Niche construction theory:

Evolution is no longer selfish genes mindlessly replicating themselves. By impacting on the environment (goats cause deforestation, worms enrich soil, beavers flood valleys), organisms guide their own evolution. Human culture is  niche. It's the way we adapt the environment to suit ourselves, in the same way the complex worlds of ant nests or termite mounds are the way ants and termites adapt the environment to suit them. We do it by learning. They do it be instinct. We can do it by learning only because we have language. And language itself is a prize example of niche construction. 

ACS  (Animal Communication System):

Almost all animate organism communicate with one another somehow. 
Information conveyed by ACS falls into 3 broad categories: for survival, mating and reproduction, and social needs. With humans, language serves varied needs. No ACS can be used to talk about the weather, or the scenery, or a neighbor's latest doings, let alone to plan for the future or to recall the past. 

ACS have three basic features:

-they grew from behaviors not originally intended for communication
-they respond only to situations that directly affect fitness
-most importantly, signs of ACS are indexical, not symbolic

Levels of Intelligence:

According to Euan Macphail, there are 3:

-there are organisms that could associate a stimulus with a response.
-there are organisms that could in addition associate a stimulus with another stimulus.
-And there are us, humans, who have language. 

Bickerton asserts that language makes us more intelligent. Brains don't grow by their own volition. They grow because animals need more brain cells and connections to more effectively carry out new things they are beginning to do. We didn't get a bigger and better brain that then gave us language; we got language that gave us a bigger and better brain.

Levels of Language:

Phonology: meaningless sounds
Morphology: meaningful  sound sequences
Syntax: meaningful utterances

Pidgins and Creoles:

A pidgin is what people produce when they have to talk to other people but don't have a common language.

A creole is a language that has evolved from a pidgin but serves as the native language of a speech community

Informative and Manipulative:

ACS is primarily manipulative and secondarily informative, whereas the reverse is true with language.

Language units are symbolic because they're designed to convey information. Information can be past, present, or future, here, there, or anywhere. But to a very considerable extent, its value lies in its novelty, it had better not be about the here and now. 

But the preceding paragraph is no help in explaining how anything could have come to be symbolic in the first place

Kinds of Signals:

-indexical: signals are irredeemably bound to the here and now since they must point directly to whatever they refer to.
-iconic: something that resembles what it refers to: it can be part of the thing referred to, or a picture of it, or part of it, or the noise it makes---anything that somehow evokes an object in the real world (or even an abstract class, as symbols do, it turns put).
-symbolic: most words are symbolic. Without symbolic words, we couldn't have language. 

Homology and Analogy:

Whenever a biologist finds a trait that's shared by 2 or more species, his first thought is likely to be, is this a homology or an analogy.
Homology is more common than analogy. Evolution seldom throws stuff away. It works, in Darwin's phrase, through "descent through modification," so any feature of a common ancestor is likely to show up in some form or another in species that descend from that ancestor. 

Niche: 3 components:
-Habitat: a particular type of environment that can be both macro (savanna) and/or micro (topsoil)
-Nourishment: a particular kind of food.
-Means: a particular way if obtaining that food.

Genes and Environment:

Except perhaps for the very simplest creatures, genes do not mandate behaviors. They simply make them possible. Circumstances will determine how far, if at all, those possibilities are realized. When genes and environment pull in opposite directions, environment win. It has to. It makes sure that those who don't obey its demands die, and their genes die with them. 

Evolution and Speciation:

-"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution", said Dobzhansky. And speciation lies at the heart of evolution, be it the evolution of language or evolution of anything else. 
-According to Robert Foley and Marta Lahr of Cambridge University, speciation, far from an event, is a process that may span as long as a million years or more. Confirming their conclusion, genetic findings made since their paper at a meeting suggest that human and chimp ancestors went on interbreeding for more than a million years after their original split

Theory of punctuated equilibrium and niche construction theory:

TPE proposed by Stephen Jay Gould and Niles Eldredge in 1972, but lacked explanatory mechanism until niche construction theory came along, which neatly explains the otherwise inexplicable stop-go-stop of evolution. A species goes merrily along its way, happily settled in its old niche. Then something in its environment changes; survival demands that a new niche be constructed, real fast. But once that niche lasts, you stay the way you were, as long as the niche lasts. 

The NCT also explains why, since the last common ancestor of humans and apes, there have been so many speciations in our line and so few in ape line. 

The Challenge from Chomsky:

-Biology vs culture: Chomsky is in the camp believing that human nature is largely determined by biological factors. The opposing camp believes that human nature is largely determined by human culture, which in turn has broken free of biological constraints. 
-In 2002 appeared in the "Science's Compass" section of the prestigious journal Science a paper titled "The Faculty of Language: What Is It, Who Has It, and How Did it Evolve?" by Marc Hauser, Norm Chomsky, and Tecumseh Fitch

* Hauser and Chomsky had been on the opposite sides of two of most crucial issues of language evolution: 1) Hauser believed that language developed out of a prior ACS. 2) Hauser regarded natural selection as the principal driving force in evolution in general and language evolution in particular. Chomsky argued against any role for natural selection in language evolution. 
* The paper was a compromise between H and C.

The compromise was possible by the partition of the territory of language. Language was now officially divided into two parts: FLB, the faculty of language (broad sense), and FLN (narrow sense), which formed part of the FLB. FLB was everything in language except the "internal computation system"---whatever drives syntax---and that, at least as a first approximation, was simply recursion (the capacity to embed one linguistic structure within another of the same kind---one phrase, clause, or sentence inside another). FLN was the only part of FLB that was both (a) limited to humans and (b) specifically dedicated to language. The rest of of LB either had antecedents in other species or, if developed by humans, was I Italy developed for purposes other than purely linguistic ones. 

*HCF's position is far from the position of Bickerton since it didn't address human evolution. B holds that the evolution of language forms part of the evolution of the human species, and to think of one is to think of another. B thinks that humans started with only a prerequisites of language, and developed the rest as it went along constructing the niche. 

* It is a fallacy of thinking to think in terms of human uniqueness when talking about evolution because we then would see evolution the wrong way. We would see how like or unlike other species to humans. We would make the human species the centerpiece of evolution while evolution doesn't have a centerpiece, or even a center. And even if it did, it would look too self-serving to put ourselves there. We should try to find out what happened and how and why it happened in the period between us and the last common ancestor of chimps and humans

-Comparison between C and B's model of language evolution 

B                                                                             C

Time 1: Animals have concepts that            Time 1: same
won't merge  
Time 2: Protohumans start talking             Time2: Typically human concepts, 
                                                                                     which will merge, appear
Time3: Talking produces typically                Time 3: The brain gets wired.
human concepts
Time 4: Merge appears and starts               Time4: same
merging typically human concepts
Time 5: The brain maybe gets rewired         Time 5: Capacities for complex 
(plausible but not certain)                                    thought, planning, etc. develop
Time 6: Capacities for complex                      Time 6: People start talking
thought, planning, etc. develop 

Brain and Thinking

Online thinking/RAM thinking/Subhuman and Pre-language human thinking

According to Gary Marcus of New York University, the brain does its job in a series of steps, along a one-way trajectory:

* Receive info from senses.
* Send it to be analyzes for identification.
* Choose a course of action based on the analysis.
*  Send an order to execute that action. 

Offline thinking/CAM/language human thinking: 

What happens when we think even the simplest of thought, say, "Roses are red."

* Think of "roses."
* Think of "red."
* Connect the two. 

You may, or may not, have a visual image of a red rose. If you do, you will say, "I think in images." If you don't, you will say, "I think in words." In both cases that's like the sun crossing the sky---not what's really happening at all. There are no images in the brain. There are no words in the brain. All that's there are neurons and their connections and differential rates and strengths of electrochemical impulses. These provide a subjective sense of words and images. The metamorphosis may seem magical but it's no more magical than the "changing colors" of mountains at sunset, likewise produced by processes in your brain. 

Concepts are not the same as Categories:

A concept is something you can "think about" and "think with," whereas with categories, all you can do is to say whether something belongs in them or not. That's the difference. The similarity is that both terms refer to some kind of class into which things can be stored---leopards, or tables, or grandmothers, anything at all. Because of that similarity, concepts and categories are sometimes treated as different names for the same thing. But if we don't distinguish between them, we'll never understand why humans differ from nonhumans because humans have both concepts and categories while nonhumans have only categories.

Without words we'd never have gotten into having concepts. Words are simply permanent anchors that most concepts have---a means of pulling together all the sights and sounds and smells, all the varied kinds of knowledge we have about what the concept refers to. 

Two discontinuities between humans and nonhumans:

We have language and no other species does. 
We have seemingly limitless creativity and no other species does. 

Language and creativity, for all practical purposes, are infinite. Is this mere coincidence? 
For two independent discontinuities of such size to exist in a single species is too bizarre in evolutionary terms. So it's worth exploring the possibility that the two discontinuities spring form the same source.

Language involves the mind and creativity involves the mind---the mind being no more than the brain at work. So the likeliest cause of such a double discontinuity would seem to lie in a difference between the workings of human and nonhuman brains where humans have concepts and nonhumans have only categories. ,

From signal to word:

In the initial, recruitment phase of protolanguage, there were neither concepts nor words. Recruitment signals weren't words. They were iconic and/or indexical signals that, to those who used them, were no different from all other ACS signals that they already had. Signals had to become words and words had to give birth to concepts before anything you could even all a protolanguage could be born. 

The signals associated with recruitment were the only signals in the protolanguage ACS that had displacement, and in the beginning they were tied to what had happened or was about to happen.

Words didn't follow but preceded concepts. 

Language was originally a combination of mime, signs and sound. 

Language, like niche construction, is an autocatalytic process. Once it's started, it drives itself; it creates and fulfills its own demands. 

There are huge similarities between ants and humans:

-population: human population ballooned to numbers that hitherto had been achieved only by insects.
-animal domestication for food: just as ants domesticated aphids, pasturing them on plants, and stroking them until they exuded fluids, so did humans domesticate cattle, goats, sheep, yak, water buffalo, llamas, camels, alpacas, and reindeer, pasturing them on grass, and milking them.
-just as ants prepared beds, planted spores, brought in plant food, and harvested the resulting fungi, so did humans prepare fields, plant seeds, fertilize, compost, manure them, and harvest the resulting cereals and other crops. 
-just as ants built enormous underground cities, so did humans build enormous aboveground cities.

Are the similarities coincidences? Not at all. Niche construction processes determine the kind of occupation a species will follow and the kind of society it will have to live as a result. Whether the niche is created slowly, by instinct, over millions of years or (in part at least) by cultural learning over mere thousands makes no difference. The niche makes the difference. The only question is, are we through yet, or is it still changing us?

Is our fate going to be like that of ant? There was a time when ants too were free-roving organisms. They are no more. They live in huge colonies now. It happened to them; why can't it happen to us? The degree of social control under which we already labor would have been both incomprehensible and intolerable to our hunting-and-gathering ancestors. 

And do think about this: for ten thousand years, ever since cities and governments began, we have been selecting against the most independent, individualistic members of our species. Rebels, , revolutionaries, heretics, criminals, martyrs---all those opposed to the current norms of society---have been systematically imprisoned, exiled, murdered, or executed throughout the last hundred centuries. Since the vast majority of these nonconformists died young or spent their procreative years in monosexual jails, their contribution to the human gene pool has been negligible. But the passive, the stupid, the compliant, the loyal, the obedient---they prospered like weeds, spreading their seeds far and wide. Has this really had no effect on human nature?

Contrary to popular misconception, evolution in the human species is not effectively over. The advances of last few years in molecular biology  have told us this is not the case. Evolution is still proceeding, genes are changing, in ways we still cannot fully understand. By the time we understand them, the damage may have been done. It doesn't take many generations to turn a wolf into a dog. 

Already there have been signs and portents. During the past couple of thousand years, caste systems---systems like those of ants, where an individual's occupation and fate are predestined at birth---have come into existence in many parts of the world, most strikingly in India. To most of us, caste systems are just quaint and rather repellent aberrations. This view may be dangerously optimistic. The caste systems should be better seen as trial runs, precursors of which is to come once the last few kicks in our ape nature have been eliminated.

Ask yourself whether you are an ant, a compliant, passive, rule-conscious, law-abiding, chicken-hearted, ignorant human who believes in the nonsense peddled by your religious and political leaders, a lapdog, or you are a solitary wolf, a "strange" human, an ornery ape? 

Bickerton's hypothesis lends support to a view that early men had some rudiments of language. Now let's look at the interactions between early men and modern men:

1. Two phases of human expansion: a)  movement of Homo erectus out of Africa 1 to 2 million years ago; b) spread of Homo sapiens around the globe, beginning 100,000 years ago and reaching every continent 60,000 years ago (Wade, p. 46). I read several years ago that at one time the Homo sapiens were almost extinct because the population was down to a mere estimated 4,000. But somehow the species hung on and survived and now numbers 7 billion strong. Inbreeding among modern humans at one time must have been strong if at one time Homo sapiens were down to 4,000. Look at the strong facial resemblance of individuals within each ethnicity. 

2.. Dr. Cavalli-Sforza's genetic studies using DNA markers have indicated that Europeans are a mixed population that emerged only about 30,000 years ago and appears to have about 65% Asian ancestry and 35% African ancestry (plus or minus 8% error rate). Australian aboriginals, though they appear to look more like Africans, are genetically closer to Chinese. (Wade, p.49). Thus, It appeared that Homo sapiens moved northward and in the northeast direction out of Africa and then later the larger group in Asia moved westward to Europe where they met the other group and produced the Europeans. Recent genetic studies have uncovered that Homo sapiens did mate with the Neanderthals and there are between 1-4 % of Neanderthal traces in the the human gene pool. The Africans have the lowest % while Asians, if my memory does not fail me, have the highest 4%. Genetic traces aside, have you noticed that among modern men, there are some individuals who show some obvious brutish Neanderthal facial features? 

Study about interesting modern humans involving second-language acquisition:

Christopher cannot draw simple figures, add 2 and 2 or tie his shoes. His IQ  is 76 and has a mental age of nine (Erad, p. 94. For more details, see The Mind of a Savant: Language Learning and Modularity by Neil Smith and Ianthi-Maria Tsimpli) . English is his mother tongue. Christopher can switch among Danish, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Modern Greek, Hindi, Italain, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, Swedish, Turkish, and Welsh and translate to and from English. Going between other languages  is harder for him. 

He has other problems:

-His biggest limitation is most of his foreign languages, his English grammar influences what he says or translates. when asked to translate, "Who can speak German?" he answered with "Wer kann sprechen Deutsch?" not "Wer kan Deutsch sprechen?" What he does is to employ "calque"---a word-for-word translation from one language to another. (One well-known example is the English calque "long time no see" of the Mandarin "hao jiu bu jian.)

-Smith, Tsimpli, and some colleagues gave Christopher another kind of linguistic workout by teaching British Sign Language (BSL), an experiment they document in their second book about him, the Signs of a Savant: Language against the Odds. His understanding of BSL was good. He had difficulty learning to use grammatical functions that required precise hand control. He developed eye contact with his teacher, but because he doesn't generally look at faces, he misses the facial movements that BSL uses to signal negation or ask questions like "What?" or "Where?" 

Carla grew up speaking Italian and English . When she began training to become a simultaneous translator, her language ability was localized on the left side of her brain. But after the training, English shifted to her right brain while her Italian remained on the left.  

Study of individuals like Christopher and Carla, together with sophisticated new instruments like PET scanners have led neurophysiologists to suspect that there is not a single center for language. Some findings:

-Like the Cray computer,a person's first language is tightly organized in terms of nerve cell circuits. Second languages are more loosely organized in the brain, which is why it often takes longer to find words in them. But a knock in one part of the brain can knock out a native language and leave later- learned languages intact or vice versa. 

-Different aspects of language, like proper nouns, common nouns,  and regular or irregular verbs, are processed in different areas of the brain. But these areas do not send their signals to a common destination for integration. Rather, language and perhaps all cognition are governed by some as yet undiscovered mechanism that binds different brain areas together in time, not place. 

-Each human appears to have a unique pattern of organization for language ability---as unique as facial features or fingerprints. Broca's  and Wernicke's areas are indeed important language-processing regions in most people, but many additional language-areas are found elsewhere in the brain. Two left-brain regions called the temporal and parietal lobes are particularly rich in multiple-language areas. Each essential language area is composed of sharply defined patch of nerve cells, each about the size of a grape. The cells in each patch appear to be connected to many others located in distant parts of the brain. Different patches govern language functions such as reading, identifying the meaning of words, recalling verbs and processing the words and grammars of foreign languages. The essential areas can be thought of as "convergence zones" where the key to the combination of components of words and objects is stored. Thus knowledge of words and concepts is distributed widely throughout the brain but needs a third-party mediator---the convergence zone---to bring the knowledge together, during reactivation. The convergence zone concept explains the odd language disabilities of a stroke patient named Adam. When shown a picture of a dog, Adam can say it is man's 
best friend, has four legs and barks, but he cannot summon the name for dog. Nor can he distinguish one animal from another by its name. But Adam can name man-made tools with ease. The explanation: language convergence zones for natural objects are significantly damaged, but zones for man-made objects are intact. 

-The process of learning a language shapes the formation of the essential areas. From birth to the age of two, the child's brain undergoes a explosive growth of synaptic connections and is primed to learn the sounds and grammar of any language. After the age of two, language synapses that do not receive inputs from early vocalizations begin to be eliminated or suppressed, a process that continues until about age 15. (Wade, pp 134-140) 

-Williams syndrome---an enigmatic birth disorder caused by the loss of one copy of the gene that makes elastin, a protein that is the chief constituent of the body's elastic fibers, and possibly by the loss of another gene or genes of unknown function that lie next to elastin on chromosome 7---characterized by enriched language and sociability skills may help solve the huge debate in cognitive psychology over the nature of language: is language special from the word go, under the control of special genes and located in special parts of the brain or does it piggyback on general mental function and intelligence? Studies involving children having Williams syndrome suggest that language is unique because there is a genetic defect that spares it (Wade, pp. 149-150).

-Brains may have separate units to digest reading and speech (Wade, pp. 155-157)


Comments/Insights/Personal Observations:

My interest in language development and foreign language acquisition has been long and tinged with a mixture of humiliation and pride. As mentioned before, my speech development was slow as a child. I was slow in learning to speak and when I finally did (as told to me by my mother), just before I turned three years of age, I couldn't articulate several speech sounds and I badly stuttered. That of course worried my mother and caused me to suffer from humiliation and anger when I was taunted and laughed at by the neighborhood kids and classmates. By the time I reached high school, the stuttering subsided much and the articulation problems largely disappeared. During high school years, I discovered to my delight I had no problem absorbing English and French. Still, I was painfully aware that my articulation of the speech sounds of these two languages was very poor. Nowadays I still have problems with the final /l/ articulation.

When I found myself dreaming in English I knew then I had become bilingual. Although I could navigate in French and Spanish when I have to, I know at best I am still a bilingual speaker. Knowing a language in depth takes a lifetime of dedicated study. And to be bilingual is to understand what Goethe meant when he observed that one must speak two languages to fully understand one (Kurtz p. 10) Learning English has helped me to be more aware of the intricacies and beauty of my mother tongue.

I always wonder if my interest in language development and second-language acquisition has something to do with, both psychologically and physically, my childhood's speech impediments. Besides having an interest in French and Spanish and about half a dozen (German, Latin,  Italian, Portuguese, and Chinese) more, I notice that I have a flair for striking, unusual humorous one liners which astounds and delights listeners, besides coming up with speedy retorts, repartees and ripostes in arguments on top of being able to express  exquisite feelings in verse in English. 

Reading Babel No More, a book about super polyglots, has driven me back to second-language learning with renewed vigor. I got inspired by the unusual characters in the book. 

Wissai
July 30, 2013

References

Bickerton, Derek, Adam's Tongue (New York: Hill and Wang, 2009).
Erard, Michael, Babel No More (New York: Free Pess, 2012). 
Kurtz, Paul, The Turbulent Universe (New York: Prometheus, 2013).
Smith, Neil, and  Ianthi-Maria Tsimpli, The Mind of a Savant: Language and Modularity (London: Wiley-Blackwell, 1995).
Smith, Neil, and  Ianthi-Maria Tsimpli, Gary Morgan, and Bencie Woll, The Signs of a Savant: Language against the Odds (Cambridge UK: Cambridge University Press, 2011).
Wade, Nicholas, ed. The Science Times Book of Language and Linguistics (New York: New York Times Books, 2000)

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A New Old Derived Short Story

A New Old Derived Short Story

I like a bacchanalia of words. Henry Miller introduced me to that. I think my words are consistent with my character. Not all writers are like that. There are two newspaper columnists whose writing style I admire. They have a pugnacious, pungent, pugilistic way with words. Yet they appear meek, mild, and morose when they appear on TV in talk shows on Sundays. They disappoint me. I have an impression that they want to be liked and thus try to compensate for their off-screen bellicose personality. Norman Mailer and Hemingway were more like my kind of writers. In public as well as in print they were aggressive and full of bravado, bravura, and braggadocio. Jerome David Salinger (yes, that was what J.D. stood for) once famously had his teenage protagonist in his exquisite novel say that if he liked a certain book, he would write to the author and request an audience. That sounded fair enough, in fact downright touching. But the irony was that Salinger became a recluse in mid life and refused to grant interviews.  The writer I really wanted to meet was Vladimir Nabokov, a Russian born writer whose amazing English has dazzled all students of English. It has been a wet dream of mine to be able to conjure up and arrange English words like Nabokov did. But he was a genius and I am not. Besides, he grew up in St Petersburg in an aristocratic family and had French and English governesses to instill and drill into his brain French and English when he was a toddler while I was a poor boy from a war-torn  Southeast Asian country, who had severe speech impediments as a toddler and who learned English at a second-rate high school institution. 

Anyway, once a man has been in jail and gone through hell on earth, he is sensitive and attuned to all improvements, no matter how small, in his physical well-being, and to the slow growth of peace and serenity in his overwrought mind. But most important of all, he sees through the hollowness of fame and prestige and status, and the illusion of safety. He is eternally on alert and has a look of cynical wariness in his eyes. He trusts nobody but he acts otherwise. And of course, he has no interest to go back to prison although he has just committed an act that easily can put him behind bars and solidly back in hell again if he is not careful and the long reach of the law catches up with him. 

I am such a man. Behind the sunglasses, I watches a young Aria Casino valet parking attendant placing my dark brown suitcase containing $250,000 in big bills and a backpack containing a loaded Glock 17 in the trunk of a Camry I paid for in cash two weeks ago to a dealership on Sahara Avenue. I hand the attendant five dollars, give a quick sweeping look of my  surroundings, get into the car, and turn left onto the Strip, heading north to US 95. 

I am calm and confident as I can be. I slept well last night, surprisingly so, considering of what had happened, and this morning had a nice healthy breakfast consisting of blueberry yogurt, smoked salmon, cream cheese and bagel, orange juice, a plate of fruits, sheep milk cheese, and assortment of nuts.  Prior to having breakfast, I went through my daily routine of Yoga stretching exercises and sitting and then lying meditations in my hotel room. Then I soaked myself for at least half an hour in the warmest bath water I could tolerate while closing my eyes and trying to block everything out of my mind and at the same time telling my body to get recharged for a new life ahead. It was the first and very likely the last time I treated myself to such a luxury. I was dreaming of such decadence during my five years in Angleton, LA.

I am financially okay again, at least for now. I am well rested and fed. My silver Camry is brand new, unpretentious and therefore not easily recognizable, and has a tankful of gas which can easily get me near my old haunting hunting ground of Phoenix before a refill.

Somebody said that as long as a man's hopes outnumber his regrets, he is still okay and his life still holds meanings. By that crude but profound measure, I am okay. There was a time when I was filled with regrets and despair. However, a glimmer and sliver of hope, a thought that I was stronger than my circumstances, kept me going. Then slowly my outlook and willpower improved. I went to the gym to work on my body during the day. In the evenings, I fed my mind with books on philosophy and sundry other subjects. I began teaching myself foreign languages and started speculating about the functions of the brain and the power of auto-suggestion/self-hypnosis. Buddha's first line in the Dhammapada rang in my ears day and night: "we are what we think." Finally I picked up the pen and started writing. I also picked up poker, first as an avocation, and after ten years flirting with it, I decided to marry it and transformed it into a vocation to prove to myself and the world I was superior to at least 90% of the participants in this financial gladiatorial contest. However, I went broke, did a stupid thing, got arrested, and thrown into the slammer for five years during which I suffered from abuses and learned first hand about human predation and degradation. I got out two years ago, 62, wiser, leaner, stronger, full of emotional and physical scars, and broke but strangely hopeful. "What does not destroy us makes us stronger." rang in my ears along with "You are what you think."

Now I have $250,000 in the suitcase, 2 grand and some change on my body, and a brand-new Camry on the road. And I feel like a millionaire, although I am not there yet. But wait, does that really matter? I was a millionaire once, but I was not happy and hell-bent on self-destruction. I think of my estranged Hindu wife who didn't pay me a single visit during my stay in a big house at the taxpayers' expense, and who is a multi-millionaire and is living high on the hog. My two daughters didn't visit me either. All of a sudden, I feel alone and lonely. My spinster sisters told me they are still living in the same house in Dallas. I keep in touch with my sisters (but probably no more after today) although my once deep affection for them largely evaporated. All they do is to complain and bitch about how I have wasted my education and embarrassed my relatives, and that my parents must be rolling in their graves in "shame and humiliation" because of me, their once most promising offspring.  But at least my sisters stayed in touch and visited me from time to time during the five years of hell and gave me $10,000 to "restart" my life when I got out. 

The phone interrupts my reverie. "Yes?" I said, trying to sound cool after looking at the number on the screen  "Listen", a familiar voice at the other end, "another news for you. Actually a follow-up, the lady  has to travel south also. The man is missing her company. Please make same travel arrangements. And do it asap. Agreed?" I was surprised and couldn't resist asking, "What's going on?"  "No question, Yes or No. I need an answer now!" I know better, a No means I must run very fast and very far and  travel incognito, preferably down in Mexico where my little bit knowledge of Spanish would help. A Yes may not be that good either. Things don't smell right and are out of joint in the state of Nevada, and in the state of my mind. "Are you still there? Yes or No." "Yes", I say finally and without enthusiasm. Five minutes later, I turn the car around at the next exit. I just left Vegas less than an hour ago. 

I check into Gold Coast, an off-the-Strip casino popular with the locals, especially Asians, and big enough to ensure my anonymity. I have my lucky  black cap on, down low, covering most of my eyes, as I walk into the casino. I pay with  cash for two nights under a false  name. I park my  own car this time, on the ground level, near the exit, prompted by an unsettling feeling that the task of "travel arrangements" I am entrusted to do for the lady are fraught of complications and danger, unlike what I did to her man. 

I was not sorry what I did to her man. In fact, I would have done it for free. So when word got to me that somebody would pay $50,000 to have Joshua, the arrogant little kike, to have a permanent vacation away from the face of the earth, I jumped at the opportunity, even at the possible, maybe probable, risk of going back to prison. That was how much I hated Joshua. I was not rational then. I am not rational now. I know perfectly well that violence is rarely a solution to a problem. Indeed, it often adds to the problem. But, as Pascal once wisely remarked, the Heart has its own reasons that the Reason itself would know nothing about. Man is never a rational animal. He is a self-conflicting being, incomplete, and more under the sway of emotions and curiosity than intellect. That's why I am back in town. I want to know. Money is not the prime factor. But it helps. 

I knew Joshua way back when he was a kid fresh out of Louisiana State University back in early 1990's, playing  poker after hours during the week, and all day long and sometimes night, too, during the weekends. Suffice to say that he became a professional poker player two years after graduating with a degree in accounting. He and I  became friends but he screwed me  over money. It took me 20 years to finally settle the unfinished business I had with Joshua shortly after I ran into him at the Bellagio during the 2013 World  Series of Poker. For years I had wanted to do the "right" wrong thing. And I did it. I would  not let the little prick think he could get away after screwing me. I couldn't live with the smug and disdainful expression on Joshua's face when I asked him for my money back. Joshua told me to get lost. For the first time in my life, I kept my  mouth shut, apologized to Joshua for having bothered him, and I walked away and stayed away from Joshua for about ten days. But I played at Bellagio in the small game $1-$3 No Limit Hold 'Em while watching Joshua plying his trade at the $80-$160 Limit Table. I discreetly followed him after he finished playing. The bastard had stamina! He often came in the afternoon and played until 2 or 3 in the morning. And he was good. He routinely cashed out $6,000 to $8,000. But he always left with a buddy of his who was at least a head taller than him and much younger. They both had an air of cockiness about them. Finally, I caught up with him in the parking lot of Bellagio, alone, the night before the Main Event of the World Series of Poker started. At first the little kike acted tough and refused to get into the car with me after I told him that I needed to talk with him, but he got compliant when he felt the Glock pressed against him under the my black leather jacket and heard my hate-filled voice. 

Once inside the car, I sternly told Joshua that if he wanted to stay alive, he must be quiet and do as he was told. Terror-stricken, Joshua nodded his head. I then handed him a flask and told him to drink the contents as it would relax him and made the upcoming conversation between us more pleasant for both of us, besides making him more docile when meeting somebody later. Joshua then blurted out , " Who are we gonna meet? Oh, No, please Roberto, you are not going to poison me, are you? Take all my money, I almost have twenty grand on me. I had a good night. That's much more than what I owed you."

-"Don't be silly. It's just a sweetened herbal tea. Just shut up and drink it. You're trying my patience. " I snarled at him. 
"Just tea?" The little bastard persisted.
"Yes, drink it. All of it. We don't have all night."

Of course, it was more than just tea. I had dissolved 30 Percodan pills along with a pint of vodka and a mountainfull of sugar. I wanted him to be quiet and fast asleep while I was driving. By the time, we hit Charleston Street, going west, the bastard was snoring. I drove into the Red Rock Casino parking garage and parked in between two cars. I took out my "First Aid " kit from my backpack, took out a syringe of high-grade heroin, and injected the content into the vein of his left arm which was dangling conveniently close to me. Luckily I was ambidextrous and had no problem took care of business using my left hand while my right hand holding the Glock under my leather jacket just in case the kike was faking sleep. He was not.  

By the time I reached my destination which was Red Rock Canyon Conservation Area, Joshua's heart stopped beating. I drove to an isolated area that I had done reconnaissance a week earlier. It was off the hiking path. I turned off the car's lights once I got there. I put my left index finger under Johua's nose to be deadly sure. No air movement. Good.  In the dark I carried him to behind a big boulder and proceeded to  strip him of his clothes, shoes, wedding ring, watch, and gold chain with the Star of David, and placed them inside a black garbage bag. I then removed all his teeth with a plier, and cut all his finger tips with a hunting knife. I placed them in a smaller black garbage bag. I then took out my cell phone and took a picture of Joshua's naked and very dead body, softly saying to him, "Say hello to your executioner, asshole!" The whole process took about five minutes. 

On the way back, I stopped at a self-help car washing facility whereupon I vacuumed and wiped thoroughly the inside of the Camry to make sure none of Joshua's hairs and clothing fibers stay inside the car. I also gave the car's exterior a good wash twice, especially the tires and the underside of the car so no smart detective would link me with my visit at Red Rick Canyon Conservation Area in the dead of the night. I knew something about forensics. 

I got rid of the small garbage first by dumping its contents in the toilet bowl of a 24-Hour Jack-in-the Box and flushed them down. I then washed the inside of the bag thoroughly and rolled it up and pushed it in the soiled paper towels receptacle and covered it with more paper towels. I then texted to my contact: "Done. Wire the balance asap. Confirming photo on the way." I then sent the photo. Two minutes later, I deleted the photo and the text from my phone. 

I then drove back to the Strip and got off at Tropicana Avenue and drove to the parking lot of the Siegel Suites. I moved there right after I got the $10,000 "starting money" from my sisters. Where else could I go? After what I went through, I couldn't get a regular job befitting my education and experience. Poker was now my vocation although it started out as an avocation. I played conservatively and with much discipline and patience. Doing time in Angleton taught me to be very patient and alert and observant. That translated well into poker. I was frugal and saved my pennies. The jackpot I hit at Caesar's six months ago was a big help. It boosted my bankroll to almost $180,000. I felt secure enough to start dabbling in small swing trades at equities. 

It was around two in the morning when I stepped into my furnished studio apartment. I opened the big plastic garbage and went through the pockets of Joshua's pants. The bastard was not lying. He had $19,000 and some change. I smiled. I thought for a moment what to do with the ring, the watch, and the gold chain. I knew I should get rid of them along with the wallet and the iPhone 5 cell phone. Then guess what, his phone rang. The screen shoved a woman about Joshua's age, a name Sarah, and a phone number with the area code 714. I had it ring and go into voice mail. I then flipped through the phone history and as I guessed, Joshua called the number often, everyday, sometimes several times a day. It must be his wife. And he and his wife must have a house in the LA area. I entered the number in my own iPhone 4GS. I was glad I did. Then reluctantly I smashed Joshua's phone, quickly packed my belongings and moved to Aria for two nights. 

It was three am of a Thursday when I checked into the hotel. I hung a No Disturb sign outside the door. Thoughts were racing through my mind although I tried to stay calm by doing breathing and stretching Yoga exercises. I finally dozed off from fatigue. A bing from the phone woke me up around 7 am. Text message! I opened it. It said, "Good job! Balance on the way after bank opens this morning".  

I tossed and I turned until eleven. I took a quick hot shower and went to the bank. The $25,000 wire transfer arrived about an hour prior. I took out $9,700 in cash and then went grab a bite at Asia Buffet on Sahara and Rainbow. I then came back to Aria and emptied my cash from the deposit box at the Poker Room and went straight up to my room. I packed my money in the suitcase, checked my Glock twice and put it in the drawer of the bedside table and tried to sleep. I had a long drive ahead of me in the morning. 

I have been pacing in my hotel room at the Gold Coast for at least two hours now. I think better when I am walking or taking a dump. All my best ideas come for these two activities. I stop, get into the bathtub, and turn on the water. I keep flashing the warm water over my face while sitting up. I am having one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I know I was impulsive and vengeful and stupid and vain. I know I screwed up my life again. I know I failed to live up to my potential. I know I lived life dangerously and stupidly. 

I jump out of the bath tub, dry myself, take out the three books---they calm me down in moments of agitation; they always do---- I always carry  with me from the backpack, and jump into bed with them. I flip through the Upanishads first and then Nietzsche's Ecce Homo. By the time, I get to the Dhammapada, I have made a decision. A tough one, but I know I make a right one, even at big costs to me. I must bow to the higher principles and powers of fairness and justice. I must not be egotistical. I want to die with peace on my mind. We all die anyway, now or twenty years from now, that really makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. A man must have true pride, otherwise he is just an animal. I walk back to the bathroom and have a good look at myself in the mirror. I then know, for sure, I am not a type who would steal candy from defenseless children or kill for money an innocent woman who has done nothing wrong to me. 

I get dressed quickly, take out the Glock, put it in the holster on my chest, heave the backpack on, and carry my suitcase into the elevator. I stop at the public phone, put 8 quarters in, and called Sarah. I hope she does not answer the phone. But she said, "Yes?" on the first ring, sounding very nervous and uptight. She must be calling Joshua like crazy the last two days. She could well be already in touch with the police, reporting him missing. I spoke, with a broken English and a French accent as best I could, "Sarah? Listen very carefully, mademoiselle, get out of house and run away fast. Now. Your life is in danger. " Then I hung up. 

I drive to a Verizon store and buy myself an iPhone 5 and have it activated. Then I take out my old iPhone 4GS and text to the contact, "Sorry. Cannot do new job. " I walk to the nearby storm drain and throw the old phone in. I get back to my car, back to the same US 95 I was traveling earlier about four hours ago. It is now past 2pm. I will hit Phoenix around 6-7pm, stay overnight in a motel, then head south to Mexico. I hope I will find some nice señorita down there to help me with my Spanish. I may go as far as Costa Rica. I know in Costa Rica they have casinos that host poker games.

Lesser men seek gratuitous power, manifested in many forms (relationships among social beings are mostly about power), over other men. They find enmity and loneliness and sometimes painful death in the process. Joshua was such a man. True and real men seek mastery over themselves. They find peace and emancipation.  Ego, thy true name is Insecurity. It has taken me a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to arrive at this simple truth. Now I am just a simple man with a simple plan: staying alive within the confines of my conscience. 

Wissai
July 27, 2013

Notes:

1. The title: this is my sixth or seventh attempt (I honestly lost the count) of writing about killing and murder. Each attempt is a modification and, hopefully, an improvement over the prior. One day I will get it right. 

2. Joshua, being "typically" Jewish, didn't honor his financial debts, thus "leading" to his death. That was the implication, but I didn't know how to artistically say that. This is only a skeleton of a story; it needs to be fleshed out.

3. More info is needed about the person who wanted both Joshua and Sarah dead. Again, the implication was that Joshua was an evil man, much worse than the protagonist. He not only screwed the protagonist up, but also the person who hired the protagonist. I have to find a way to tie this loose end to the narrative.

4. Of course, the story is a fiction, baed on irritated imagination. Fiction is stylized imagination with a reasonable simulacrum of reality thrown in. I am not that vain and stupid to implicate myself publicly in a murder. It has been gratifying to me that several readers have inquired if the story is based on true events. A reader (very possibly of Jewish faith) expressed skepticism and indignation that Joshua was killed because he had welshed on a couple of "dimes". Apparently, that person lived too long in the ivory tower. People have been killed for much less: a wrong look, a wrong word, an inappropriate touch or laugh, a failure to apologize, and a debt of $10 dollars. Death occurs because of a violation of trust or respect or because of a mindless exercise of power. 

5. Yes, some readers may be jarred by an undertone of anti-Semitism. But when there is smoke, there must have been a fire to begin with. Jews are not angelic victims, free of human foibles such as arrogance and avarice. Ask yourself these three questions:  how many friends does Israel have at the United Nations? Does Israel treat the Palestinians fairly? Of the Jews you personally know, what is the percentage that you think are nice folks? 

6. Finally, ask yourself these:
-Was the story readable? 
-Did it hold your interest?
-Did it make you think and ponder about it when you got to the end?
-Could you write a story as the author did? Do you have the imagination? Do you have a felicity with words in English or even in Vietnamese? 


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Letter to a cognitive psychologist

Thanks for replying to me and for the excerpt. Well, I happen to believe in exceptionalism. Just as Newton, Einstein, and possibly Stephen Hawking were the exceptional individuals in physics who revolutionized human understanding about cosmology in some fundamental ways, I understand that there are some individuals, who, by some gene mutation or some freakish wiring in their brains are endowed with uncommon abilities (autistic savants in mathematical calculations, music, and memory; and mystics (besides the three individuals I already mentioned, we should also include Lao-Tzu (Laozi for modern spelling) and the sages of the Upanishads). Mankind, at least the educated and informed ones, have acknowledged their contributions to metaphysics and honored them as such. You could easily ensure your name among the human immortals if you could write convincingly to debunk a common belief that there were/are mystics who did/do have special wisdom and depth of understanding about metaphysics. 

Mysticism is like orgasmic sex. One must experience it to know what it is like. No book or verbal description would do justice to the real thing. 

Mysticism is a rare experience, not easily accessed by common folks. But common folks must instinctively yearn for it somehow. Alas, for them they only occasionally have fleeting moments of it through music, booze, recreational drugs, and hallucinogenic substances. True mystics have easy access to it through the special wiring in their brain. 

Monday, July 15, 2013

An Exchange on Expectation, Variance, and Separation

Thanks Bob and well said 
 
My views have certainly been impacted by Hindu and Buddhist perspectives, but also aspects of many other faiths.  I do tend to lean more in the direction of the mystic aspects of these faiths, such as Gnostic Christianity and the Hebrew Kabbalah.  Buddhism is by far the most unifying philosophy IMO.  When someone asks me what religion are you? I usually answer:  "Unity and Love are my religion." Science is also a major influence, specifically theoretical quantum physics, cosmology and the more defined sciences of Newton and other mathematicians like Euclid.  In today's world, the amount of information and the ease of access are awesome.
 
I have found that a smidgen of doubt sprinkled onto diligent logic and reason is the best approach to discovery.  We all need to follow our own paths, but I am confident all roads lead to "______" the same place.  And it is not an ending or some mystical destination, just another road to travel, an unbroken path into infinity.  I cannot prove this, but it feels right.
 
So when I think about poker and other activities or experiences I consider that everything that is going on is a part of me and that I am not trying to manage something that is separated.  While I don't seem to have as much influence over what cards will come, as compared to my legs, arms, feet and hands, I can't help but consider that there is a unifying connection to everything we perceive and experience in this existence. 
 
In a game of golf or poker I literally feel as if I am "at play" with all the other manifestations that surround me. I do not feel as if I am at odds with the deck. A bad beat is just another manifestation struggling to survive, as we are.  A crooked golf shot or chronic illness is the same.  It is possible that many of our health issues and sickness arise out of the sense of struggle or stress; a fear of illness, vs. acceptance of its co-existence.  Often when people experience miraculous turnarounds it is just after they reach a point of acceptance.  Taking a non-expectant approach where you genuinely feel a unifying connection can do amazing things in your results column, whether golf, good health, business dealings, personal relationships or bowling.
 
I know much of this may seem outside the topic of poker, but for me it is not.  A great part of learning about winning poker is the same as learning about winning at life.  In my opinion winning at anything is not about how well you do comparatively, but how well you are able to synchronize your relational connections to what is presented.
 
Simply said: "Winning at poker or life is not about the cards you get dealt, it is how you play them."
 
For me the key word in this phrase is "play." We can choose to be in struggle with what surrounds us, or be at play. I know this is not how most people interpret this quote. Most people take it to mean, "do the best you can with what you got."  This is one way to look at it, but I can tell you that to "be at play with what you got" is the most satisfying and joyful way to live. 
 
When you feel a unifying connection it is easier to be at play. It is easier to create. When we are at odds with others or the hand we are dealt it is almost never a creative or fun experience.  For me the key to happy living is to playfully suggest an idea or goal, but never subjugate another person or thing to your expectation or desires.  Recognize that your greatest moments will be a surprise. 
 
Smile, offer love and be at play!  That is the way.
 
Gene

From: wissai <wissai@yahoo.com>
To:  
Sent: Monday, July 15, 2013 4:27 PM
Subject: Re:  Expectation, Variance and the Fallacy of Separation
 
What Gene said was profound and may be  impacted by a view, not necessarily an exclusive Hindu and Buddhist perspective (since everything that rises will converge), that everything in the universe is interrelated and there is, in the absolute and macro sense, no separation between self and others. However, there is not one reality and humans don't function in the macro sense. Thus, where we are in the developmental sense affects how and what we see. It follows that for most humans, there is separation between self and others and there is indeed differentiation in this world. And for them, time is outside of them and not part of them, and therefore it is logical for them to seize the moment. Indeed for them, seizing the moment or embracing the moment means the same thing. 

Somebody said that space by itself has no east, west, north, or south. It is humans who think of those categories in order to aid them in navigation. 

Roberto Wissai/NKBa'

Sent from my iPad
On Jul 15, 2013, at 10:43 AM, Gene Hull > wrote:
 
Expectation, Variance and the Fallacy of Separation
 
By
 Gene Hull
   
Two words often used in poker are expectation and variance.  The first is used to describe long term accumulated results and the second to describe what happens between now and the measurement we make later.  The usage of the word expectation can have more than one perspective.  There are expected mathematical outcomes based on probability and there are the expectations we place on outcomes via our perceptions, our ego and desires.  Experiencing variance can easily deceive us into thinking there is separation, whether in a game of cards or the whole of existence.
By understanding variance from a mathematical perspective, we can be less emotional about results.  We know that probability is not a guaranteed outcome, particularly in the short term.  It is merely a prediction.  As we approach an infinite number of trials the math says the actual outcome should get closer and closer to the predicted outcome.  However, we can never escape the fact that it is only a prediction and not a 100% reliable forecast of what is to occur.  It does not take into account other factors that we cannot foresee or measure.
There is a lot more going on than we can ever fully measure or know.  A great deal of existence is simply beyond our ability to use logic and reason to make a measurement.  Statistical analysis and logic are important, but it is through intuition that we first arrive at something new.  Logic and reason are more of a harmonizing tool to test and confirm intuition.   It is mainly via graceful and compassionate doubt of common knowledge that we can allow the reception of a higher wisdom.
Can we influence outcomes, or are we all subject to the randomness of statistical probability?  Is there a relational quality that we cannot measure, but can still affect outcomes?  How does our understanding of un-measurable relational qualities improve our ability to influence events and outcomes?
These questions are fairly indiscernible, but we can think about them and intuitively build a framework of possibilities, even if we cannot prove them.  Perhaps we are not subjugated to the randomness of math, variance and the laws of numbers, or even physics.  There may be a macro perspective that limits the total of outcomes to falling within specific parameters, maybe not.  The first law of thermodynamics, better known as the law of conservation of energy states that the total energy of an isolated system cannot change.  This concept essentially says our existence is subjugated to the math.  When we use words like infinity or a repeating decimal place, the whole concept of isolated systems gets fuzzy.  It offers the possibility that there are things we cannot define or measure.  It says that we really cannot even define the borders of this isolated system, or that it is even isolated.  Can we influence outcomes outside of the perceived isolated mathematical system?  Attempting to answer this is purely intuitive and in the realm of mysticism.  Some would call it hyperbole or mumbo jumbo and that is fine, but the only way to expand what we define as measurable is to break free from the chains of expectation, whether it is mathematical or psychological.
The division we perceive in this existence is not real.  Separate things like beginnings and endings, people and things, good and bad are fictitious.  All that exists is an unbroken string of moments.  Everything is connected and there has never been separation of any kind.  All things are torn from the same cloth, but have been stretched out so far over infinite time and space that they do not recognize each other.  The relational qualities at the core of all existence are unbroken.  In this sense, we are only trying to influence something that has been connected to the  whole of existence. It is not a separate deck of cards, or a separate person.  At its core, it is us. When you walk you do not need to ask your legs to do it.  They trust you, since they are a part of you. Literally, everything in this existence falls into the same category, but for some reason we perceive a separate existence from this or that. 
A great philosopher once said “love your enemies” and “treat others as you would want to be treated.”  The underlying wisdom in these statements is that our enemies or others we perceive as outside of the individual self are simply us.
Moments are like friendships.  They are freely offered. Carpe diem is a famous saying.  It means to seize the day or to seize the moment.  Perhaps we should consider not seizing the moment, but rather embracing the moment.  Seizing the moment relates a sense of ownership.  Embracing does not.  There is also the paradox of being able to seize something that at its core is you.
So next time you are playing poker, golf or shooting baskets, allow everything to be free of your expectations and just embrace what is offered, like a good friend would do.  These manifestations that we often perceive as outside of us are more connected than we know.  They can receive the energies we transmit.  They are just like us.  They are us.  Convey to people and objects to do what pleases them.  If they truly feel connected, what pleases them will also be pleasing to you, since you are essentially the same.  Tell the golf ball to go where it pleases, but impart your suggestion of what might please you.  Accept or embrace what happens, even if it is not what you wanted. Perhaps there is something to learn or a new experience will be presented.  Perhaps something new will be created.  When something happens different than the results forecast in expectation, we call it variance.  Variance is at the core of new creation.  Without variance we would not have the wonderful diversity that surrounds us.  Poker would also be very different.  You would not be presented with opportunities to use creative approaches to the game.  It would be quit boring. Without variance in poker or life, we would not be able to learn and create. 
When you hit a golf ball in the water don’t get irritated and think it’s just more strokes on the score card.  Consider that the ball just wanted a break.  Perhaps it wanted to cool off, just as you would after a long day of getting bashed around in the heat.  When one of your opponents wins a hand against you in poker are you annoyed that you did not win, especially when they suck out, when you are a 9 to 1 favorite to win?  If you can truly appreciate the joy that they experience then you are harmonized with the connection that exists between you and them.  You are them in many respects.  Last year’s 2012 WSOP main event champion said it perfectly, explaining that he genuinely enjoys seeing others win, even when it is as his own perceived expense.  Personally, I can’t help but think it was a great part of what propelled him to his win.  In recognizing the deserving nature of those around him, he was offered a great reward.  In this sense he did not win the main event, but rather its stewardship was offered to him.
Offer the moment a suggestion in the mutual benefit of co-creation and enjoyment.  Do not place expectation at the leading edge of how you relate to people or things.  Extend this approach to everything in the whole of existence and you will be amazed!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Be Still and Know I am the Voice of Logic

Be Still and Know I am the Voice of Logic

Yes, I know logic is not sufficient to go through life for Man is not a rational though highly intelligent organism and the customs and rules he has set up are flawed and not quite rational enough even though there have been progress in the direction of rationality and justice as well as a slow flight from ignorance and stupidity. 

As a human gifted in logic and reasoning, I am tired of reading flawed arguments laced--not graced---with faulty reasoning from minds inferior to mine, couched in haughty, supercilious, arthritic, anemic, constipated, stupid prose, instead of gracious, humble, gentle exposition of one's views. 

I am also tired of being accused of being negative. I am not. I am being realistic and harsh. There is a big difference. 

I guess what I am trying to say that love and gentleness conquer me, not naked displays  of faulty pride and infantile scholarship. 

Be still and know I am the voice of Logic. 

What I need and want is not somebody trying to convince me that she is better or more informed than me (I can make up my mind about that on my own, without her help), not bitchiness, not mindless and stupid pontification, but love and compassion and understanding and peace. 

Wissai
July 14, 2013