I used to run with the hunted

I used to run with the hunted.
You think it was fun, huh?
No, sir. It was not.
I was scared shitless.
I hated the feeling of being the prey.
I was angry, too. More scared than angry.
I wanted to live first. The angry part came later.
Now I own two handguns and have not killed anybody yet.
Not that I am afraid, but because I am smart enough to see the futility of killing, except in defense.

I used to be very poor.
Never had much to eat.
Hungry all the time.
I knew humiliation and anxiety
Because of no money.
And then I worked and saved and became a millionaire.
Temporarily.
I blew most of my money in stocks, gambling, and women.
No drugs, though. Hated to be a slave to chemicals.
Not even to nicotine.
Now I live from hand to mouth.

But I still retain my good looks.
Plus, I work out.
That's why women of all ages are flocking to me.
I used to love very much a girl named Laura,
But she dumped me because I was poor.
Now I no longer know what love is all about.
A woman called me asshole and motherfucker because I wrote
A "dear Jane" letter to her.
I thought she loved me a lot.
Now I know she does not.
Then there was a woman who
Was very rich and smart.
Somehow she made it known she liked me,
But she was too old and uneducated to my taste.
Then another old woman was also after me.
She talked dirty and made passes at me.
I kept calling her "Auntie" to keep het at bay.
Last night, another woman called me out of state,
Asking me to visit her.
I said, "What for? I am a married man."
She sighed, "Don't be cruel. I miss you. I am tired of just listening to your sexy voice.
I want to see your face and your body without clothes on."
I sighed also, "I have news for you, mi amiga. I can't get it up anymore.
I'm chronically impotent."
She hissed at me, "Don't you lie to me!"

Why didn't these women come to me when I was young and lonely and able and willing and available, when I thought I knew what
Love was all about?
Why do I feel lonely and empty on my birthday?

Roberto Wissai