Death and sundry issues

I should be angry with somebody. Instead, I am calm. I merely wish the person who has taunted me to disappear soon from this world so I can live in peace. There is no use for me to retaliate.

Another person whom I know is dying of cancer. The end will come in about six months. Although that person has been nice and civil to me, he was nasty and unethical throughout his life, so maybe his current painful slow dying process is a karmic payback for all his sins. I don't know. I have done my share of malice for which I was not proud. I myself have been a recipient of wrongdoing, malice, and persecution. That's life. I am trying not to get overly angry and getting out of hand. All my troubles have stemmed from the failure to keep my mouth shut, especially when I am angry.

I am having all kinds of ailments so I am busy to get well. I am also occupied with putting my financial situation in order so I can live the remainder of my life in dignity, instead of worry and humiliation. My training in philosophy has been a big help for me in dealing with unpleasant events in life. The biggest lesson is to realize that what counts is not what happens to me, but is how I deal with it. And the first step is to remain calm, and not to be agitated and self-righteous, even if I have plenty of reasons to be self-righteous. The second step is to view most humans are nothing but monkeys which are vain, greedy, egotistical, and unreasonable. The third step is to ensure to get sufficient sleep so I can deal with the situation rationally.
(cont.)